RIDING THE WRITERS' WAVE

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This used to to be an author's discussion forum, so whad'ya think.


(130) He Said/ She Said: Another Speech Tag Debate

In On Writing,. Stephen King advocates for simple “he said” and “she said” speech tags. Many writing bloggers and style advocates agree. They have, however, well spoken detractors. Everyone seems to agree that “s/he said adverb” is just plain wrong. ”Go to sleep,” he said softly. is an example of bad writing. Why? Because we are taught to avoid adverbs. Why? Because the right verb needs no help. The right verb here is “whispered” leaving us with ”Go to sleep,” he whispered. So much for the “s/he said” advocates. They are left advocating dull, mono-emphasis speech when we know speech is much more varied and nuanced.

Many “s/he said” advocates also claim that “s/he asked” is always unnecessary. The question mark means conveys the verb “to ask.” I see their point but wonder, don't quotation marks convey the verb “to say” making “s/he said” similarly unnecessary? Both minimalists and DeepPov proponents advocate dropping speech tags altogether. This could be accomplished with three easy techniques: Establishment, Omission and Beats. Consider the following dialog.Notice how boring and annoying “s/he said” can be though that might just be my opinion. After establishing the names, all subsequent speech tags can omitted.Readers can follow alternating speakers without direction. Well, up to a point. Every so often, authors should re-establish one of the speakers. Readers tend to lose track of whose speaking after page flips. Adding additional characters requires reestablishing the alternating dialog pairs. This can, in a small way, address multiple character interaction. In my novel, I have scenes where 6, 7 and eight characters interact. This happens in real life, and I like to orchestrate complex social interactions in my fiction. Most writers simplify social interactions to two person exchanges.

Establishment speech tags can be replaced by Beats. Beats are short action descriptions starting with character names, related pronouns or character descriptors (Jack, he, the CEO). In this case:

Beats work, in large part, because they resemble speech tags. The speakers' names/pronouns/descriptors directly follows ending quotes followed by a verb. Imagine the following sentence.Makes you wonder who asked the question and why the action description is in the same paragraph.

Beats can be effective, but most interactions do not have enough actions to establish and reestablish speakers. Most Beat dependent writers run dry after two or three actions. They resort to pointless gestures which neither develop their characters or advance plot. To restate. Many Beats are vacuous sentences whose main purpose is to avoid using speech tags and serve no other purpose. Speech tags only take two words (subject verb, the line of dialog serves as predicate); Beats take at least three words (subject verb predicate), but more likely an average sentence length of six to ten words, a waste of four to eight words per beat, a word count sin in self proclaimed style Nazi's eyes.

Two more style Nazi sins oft accompany Beats. First, many authors want to sequence action before delivering lines. or more egregious This violates self proclaimed style Nazi rule (106) Don’t Bury Dialog in Paragraphs.

Second, once into narrative mode, authors want to fill in details extending Beats into full blown verses.

Although Beat misuse is not sufficient cause to dismiss the technique, vacuous sentence precludes its savior of fiction status. “S/he said” limits speech emphasis which could leave dialog flat and uninteresting (remind me to mention other emphasis techniques) leading to adverbs, perhaps the only technique which can be dismissed. Speech verb (other than to say) can draw attention to themselves and away from dialog (that is to say, away from character development). What a mess! If it narrative only stories weren't sleep inducing bores, it almost makes self proclaimed style Nazis, like me, desire dialogless fiction. That is until we remember rule (232) Overuse is an enemy.

The issue is not which dialog techniques should be used and which shouldn't. Speech tags and Beats are not the enemy. Overuse of any element of writing tends to wear on reader's nerves. Mix'm up. Try to use “said,” descriptive speech verbs, beats and even the odd “said” adverbly appropriately but definitely non exclusively.

When reviewing do not recommend one dialog technique over the over, but rather point out imbalances. For example, I overuse speech verbs while under utilizing all forms of “to say,” but I do this for a very style Nazi reason: I treat “to say” as I treat “to be,” a verb of last resort. “S/he said” overuse runs rampant, so I use it only when I can not think of any other speech verb, I should reconsider this position, perhaps later.