Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

Nobody saw anything, and yet, here he was lording over the reception area with his stoney, vacant stare. William J. Baker. William Baker had served as mayor of this town from 1896-1909 and in 1915 they erected a statue of him on the townhall lawn. Today, that statue was discovered, crudely defaced with a sharpie-like substance and disrespectfully draped in a pink, feather boa, just inside that same townhall’s entrance.

Our town, though modestly sized, does employ a police force of five or so volunteers. However, as current mayor, I felt it my duty to investigate this crime against my people.

I began my search at the building containing the highest concentration of ne’re-do-wells: the high school. There, I found little but taunts and jeers from America’s future. I was about to leave when I was approached by a young lad with bad posture and a vendetta.

“Didn’t hear this from me,” he whispered, “My dad was out late last night and…he hates mayors.”

His dad was Jake Wheeler, local construction worker and anarchist. He fit the profile: enemy of the state with access to power tools.

I found him at his daily haunt, the new development off Pine. He was wearing a hardhat and a guilty expression. He ran when he saw me. But Wheeler had spent the last decade drinking and raging against the government. I had spent the last decade doing cardio and passing local ordinances. We were not the same.

I tackled him to the ground and announced he was under citizen’s arrest. He proclaimed his innocence, but this is now an issue for the courts.

For now, all mayors can rest easy knowing The Statue Bandit is safely locked away under the legal confines of personal recognizance bail and scheduled to face trial this August.

(300 words)