"It's the deal of a lifetime," he said. "Literally."
You probably should have walked away the second he came over to you. He was lean and hungry-looking, and despite his tailored suit, there was something off-putting about him, a vague sense of soot and sulfur. But he knew your name. He knew you were fresh out of a relationship, knew you had just been laid off from your job, he knew everything about you. And though what he was offering was impossible...you knew, somehow, that it wasn't.
"It's the power of a god," he said. "Oh, there are limits – you can't get too flashy with it, or literally become a weapon of mass destruction. But you won't use it for anything like that. You aren't the flashy type."
"What I don't get," you say, "is why me? Why are you offering this to me?"
"Simple," he says, with a razor smile. "My whole job is to make things worse. And with these powers, you will increase evil in the world. Maybe a lot, maybe a little, who's to say?"
"But...I mean, these powers...I could be a superhero. Change my shape to anything? Change my size to anything from dust to the size of a refrigerator? Relatively immune to damage? I could, like, fight crime with these powers. Make the world a better place."
"You? No. Some people would. And you think you will. And that's cute, but you're right now thinking about how you could use this to become, like, a middle-school girl's bra."
"I am not!"
"Dude, I don't care! Like I said...I'm evil. You're gonna use this to creep on women and stuff. Maybe men too. Again, I don't care. But you aren't gonna use this for good, we both know that. Now...with that said...are you gonna sign?"
He hands you a glowing pen. "You're not lying about Hell, right?"
"No! There's not real Hell, not for most people, you either get reincarnated or if you're really bad, like Hitler or someone, your soul gets destroyed. You can move up the ranks, of course, if you're good or bad enough – and you might just find yourself working for me in a few hundred years – but that's not bad at all, no sir. Now, you gonna sign, and help make this world a worse place?"
You look at the demon, and back to the form.
"Come on, I don't have all day. You get power, the world gets more awful. Win-win, right?"
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