As morning rolled over San Francisco, in an empty cul-de-sac sat a lonely dilapidated house. This was the hideout of notorious thieves Rotund Rufus and Big-Bellied Bob.
Their real names were Rupert McGluskey and Robert Franklin Bartholomew.
Rufus stood at 5'8" and weighed 1,142 pounds. Bob, however, towered over him at 7'7" and weighed 1,827 pounds. They have been morbidly obese, but they were very agile for their sizes. No one knows how that was possible, so don't ask.
Rufus rose out of bed and grabbed his Hawaiian shirt and fedora off the coat rack next to his bed. He had a handlebar mustache and five o'clock shadow covering the lower half of his face. He wore boots, a poorly fitting tank top under the suspenders that held up his pants with a belt. His giant belly showed a patch of hair running below his bellybutton. He put on his fedora over his balding head and slipped on his Hawaiian shirt. He didn't button it because they had all popped off throughout his life as he got fatter.
No sooner, he got out of bed that Bob got up as well, his belly colliding with Rufus's. Bob also wore boots and a poorly-fitting tank top, but it was under overalls that could only hold a small amount of his gargantuan body. Bob had a slight goatee with stubble appearing on his face and a blonde ponytail that hung out behind his head. The only abdominal hair he had was all over his belly, but below the chest. He reached for his Hawaiian shirt on the coat rack next to his bed. Bob had also lost the buttons on that shirt as well.
After they put their Hawaiian shirts on, the two burly giants headed downstairs to start the day with Bob making breakfast and Rufus bringing in the morning newspaper. At the table, Rufus was eating his breakfast: a giant piece of cake while Bob read the newspaper.
"We've done it again!" He chuckled, his belly jiggling like a bowl full of jelly. "Last night's caper was a success!"
The caper was a raid of the art museum. They had stolen ten paintings disguised (poorly) as janitors and disabled the alarms before snatching the art.
He slid the paper over to Rufus, who then proceeded to read the headlines, his eyes bulged with anger.
"What?!?" He barked. "The Spanish Fox busts the Two-Tony Gang?!?"
The Spanish Fox was the nickname for an Interpol officer with red hair named Erika Fox. Born and raised in Barcelona, Spain to a Canadian mother and a Filipino father, she rose to the ranks in Interpol with a black belt in many martial arts. She was much more lithe than Rufus and Bob combined. She was not to be underestimated, though. She once took down an entire arms smuggling ring with as much resources as she had.
"Be cool," Bob said. "I think I have a caper for today."
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