This is a WDC Power Reviewer Review. I am not a professional copy editor. These are my opinions as a writer, reader, and lover of words. Please take or leave my opinions as you will.

Overall Impression:

I enjoy fanfiction and star trek and know lots of trekkies, so I was intrigued by your story. It progressed in a smooth fashion and the end was much as I expected. Your narrator is a woman of compassion.

Plot:

Two children play at Star Trek, but then grow up. One develops a drug problem and it causes his love of Star Trek to become a problem.

Style and Voice:

I liked the tone of your narrator. She seemed to be a woman of compassion and reason. She might have had childhood fantasies, but she outgrew them.

Scene/Setting:

I liked the London setting. A modern setting and quite urban. Perfect for the story you were portraying.

Characters:

Ms. Krone was a sensible woman who tried to remain friends with a boy she knew as a child even after they had both grown up. Richard, is a hardcore Star Trek fan that allowed the fantasy to cross into his reality.

Dialog:

The dialog was believable, even to the Klingon that Richard spoke to his translator friend. Good things she was there. Most people that can speak Klingon are scattered throughout the world and only meet once a year in Las Vegas for the big star trek convention. :)

Grammar and Mechanics:

I did not see any obvious grammar errors in your work. You have proofed this well.

Suggestions:

No suggestions. I liked your story very much, even though it was sad. I know many people that like to dress in star trek theme costumes on the convention scene. Most of them can separate fantasy from reality well. I've met a few like your Richard though...and it is always a sad event.

Take care.