%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4739422 |
 | My Rainbow Bunny  [ASR] Where is Chloe's Easter Gift? WDC Writer's Cramp entry 405 words  |
| (5.0)| Hi IE - Happy 24th, WDC! ,  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  I am reviewing your flash fiction, "My Rainbow Bunny" , in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .Please remember, these are purely my own opinions, and any advice given is done so with the sole intention of being helpful.  What I liked: I enjoyed this whole story. I had a smile on my face all the way through. Your characters of Teegan and his little sister, Chloe, are well drawn out. They seem like any brother and sister do at that age, and their relationship is very real. When Teegan started to shout at Chloe and make scary Bogeyman noises, I could feel Chloe's fear. I actually thought the story would turn into a horror tale of how this brother did something terrible to his sister. Which, I guess, it did, really. He had nastily destroyed her favourite toy, Rainbow Bunny. Teegan does sound like he might be a little psychopath in the making. He would be a great character to see in further stories. I love the direction you have taken this prompt. It is creative and original. As I said, I wasn't sure where you were taking us with Teegan's character. I'm still a bit unsure about him. I'd definitely keep an eye on him if I were his mother. Suggestions: The only suggestion I have (and it is a minor one) is that I found the present tense narration a little hard to follow at times. If you had written it in the past tense, or even from one character's point of view, it would have been easier to get lost in it. For me, at least. That said, I enjoyed the story very much. Parting Comments: Well, I guess you know that I love this story. I love your characters, and I would love to see another story about Teegan, maybe in ten years time. I think he has the capacity for evil. But if I've got him wrong, I apologise. Great story, fantastic writing. Happy anniversary! Choconut   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 03/26/2024 @ 10:10am EDT