*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741911
Review #4741911
Viewing a review of:
Martell 2024  [18+]
A place to keep my writings
by Maryann
         Review for entry/chapter: "Citadel # 60
Review of Martell 2024  
Review by Lornda
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, Maryann


*Sun* I'm stopping by to check-out your newest poem for a prompt! I've never tried this type of poem before, and I'm sure it takes some work to make the poem flow. American Pie is a long song, and I know that 70's song really well. so it must have been fun picking it apart. *Wink*

*Sun* I did enjoy reading your redacted version of it! How you got it to flow in ten lines is beyond me. I did go through the song with your highlighted parts for the new poem, and I have to say great job with piecing it together.

*Sun* As for some feedback, this is what I found when I read it out loud. In my head, I almost want this split in two -- five lines each for the stanzas. I then looked at the subject of the poem. Personally, I think the first nine lines fit the subject. I'm just not sure if the last line fit the visual I had in my head. I'm not much help for a suggestion, because I'm sure the poem follows a certain pattern.

*Sun* Overall, I had fun reading this type of poem! The song was a perfect choice, and if I ever try one of these poems, I'd go for a song with long lyrics, too. It gives you more ideas and words to choose from. Great work, and I don't think I've seen a poem like this from you, but I'm sure you had fun! *Bigsmile*

*Swords* Lornda



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741911