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 Review #4751491 |
 |  | She Danced With the Prince  [E] another young girl's fairy tale  |
| (4.5)   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, iluvhorses! I am reviewing this because today is your 13th Writing.com anniversary!  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I really enjoyed reading this short story, or another young girl's fairy tale as you describe it in your summary beneath the title.  I found the style of your layout for this story interesting and felt it added to the entire fairy tale feel.  I also enjoyed the new twist of this Cinderella story. At first, I wasn't sure of the ending and was truly hoping I had caught on correctly about who Cinderella actually was. I'm so glad you included Several of Tansy’s friends noticed the newcomer at the same time so that gave me a pretty sure clue as to who it was.   You obviously have read a fair share of royalty fiction (and perhaps non-fiction?) and of course, fairy tales. Your tone is awesome, fitting perfectly with this story. I've recently been reading a series by Philippa Gregory, so I'm quite into the royalty stories. I loved the descriptions, making for great visuals! Here are a few examples of my favorites:-->Dappled shadows of the leaves played on the path -->The sound of clanking metal beyond the garden wall brought a smile to the girl’s lips. -->Tansy drank in the mellow sounds and swayed and twirled to the melodies with abandon. Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderJust a few nitpicky things...all cosmetic:  The font size is hard to read. I'm pretty sure you've used Times which for some reason appears smaller than the other fonts. I alway 'up' the size when using Times. Unless your going for another look, you might consider indenting your paragraphs. Since you don't use extra linespacing between the paragraphs, it might be helpful. I did notice, however, your story is double-spaced (or there abouts) and I like that! Other than that, nothing stood out to me. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation, were all perfection! Final ThoughtsYou obviously are a gifted writer. Your words flowed nicely and without fault. And while the Cinderella story is a classic, this new twist was enjoyable. I love happy endings!  Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 05/13/2024 @ 8:21pm EDT