It was very easy for me to imagine the people and turkeys running around because you showed me a detailed description of the action. As I imagined the events they were funny.

The dialogue is easy to understand and works well in the story. I could hear the father laughing and struggling to convey to his son he would have helped if necessary.

The actions of the turkeys are normal and realistic because after people feed them they would become friendly towards people and expect all people to feed them.

Several minutes later, other groups of people also came out the library doors, but the flock of turkeys had found their way back and were still recuperating from their loss.


To make these ideas easier to read may I suggest you break this into several sentences leaving out the word [but].

To make your story more exciting you could show emotions for the turkeys also as if they were reacting like humans/animal feelings. For example, their hearts could be racing with the anticipation of receiving food from the people. Animals have physical reactions to their environment.

Thank you for writing and sharing your animal word art with me and WdC members.

"a very Wodehouse challenge" 

{c>red} A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .