Sally O'Malley is 50

They thought it was funny to give her wrinkle cream and nasty ass Bengay for her fiftieth birthday. As her bitchy co-workers began singing The Beatles Birthday song, Sally O’Malley hiked up her red spandex pants, as high as they would go, and prepared to show them exactly what a fifty-year-old woman was capable of. The candles on the cake burned, waiting to be blown out, but instead of carrying on that tradition, she launched into one of her high kicks, swinging her leg around to extinguish those two big candles in one swift move.

“I’m fifty!”

Word Count: 97