Poems are the hardest for me. I see a lost soul crying out for help and guidance much as one alone in a vast wilderness. I too have trod that path and reconciled within. Overall, nicely done and descriptive as a painting. Recognition is the first and determination follows. I like it and that is of importance. Your talent is evident and I have discovered that in writing one must trust in himself and make it his own no matter the criticism.
Kathie,
This was an enjoyable read. It flows quite smoothly and has subliminal lessons in humanity included. You took something that has been written about so many times and made it your own story. Great substance for a book to follow. I liked your style. I am just getting into writing at a ripe old age but I have learned one important aspect from the few reviews I have received. There are those who want to add something specific or change the wording to their style which makes the story no longer yours. I would be critical if needed but besides being twenty chapters short it is fine.
Tim, I liked the poem even though I prefer ones that rhyme. Do not take it as criticism because I don't let people tell me how to write or their choice of words. Anything you write is yours alone. Good job and being retired Navy I can relate. Thank you for the opportunity to review.
I like the message and wholly agree with you. Several who reviewed my paltry number of short stories have been critical of my extraordinarily long sentences. It became a distraction while writing as I would lose my train of thought while being conscious of using only short ones. Now, I just write and let it flow leaving it for later while proofreading. I feel I came away with something from this piece. Maybe just a simple shoring up of my self esteem. You have forty years and I barely forty days so I have much to learn in the autumn years of my life. Thank you.
You caught my attention and kept it all through the story. Easy to read and descriptions were vivid of the weather conditions as well as the tree pinning the father to the bed. I liked it alot. I happen to be a Commissioner in a local fire dept. so it hit home with me as well. I also do short stories and am new at this. You have a good style and I hope you continue to write.
I enjoyed this poem. I am not a poet. I especially liked the Notes at the end of the page. I had written that word Villanelle down for definition later. I now have a slight understanding of poems. I think you did a great job and certainly know a good deal about how to write poems. I always look for the story or the point being made. I rate your piece high because it was informative for me in different ways. This time you do get the cake. Thank you for allowing me to share. Keep it up!
Good story and well done. A lot more story here and very interesting. I am a newbie but I like to do reviews as well as write. Your story, for me, is just too short. However, if you were restricted to 300 words than I give credit for you meeting that challenge as well as doing it well. Keep it up. You are good.
My random review for today and I'm glad this one came up. Not being a poet nor a reader of poetry I still make a valid effort to give an honest review. I have not read any previous poems of "The Jester" sagas. I like the story told. I like that the poem rhymes. ( I have a thing that a poem should rhyme) I liked it and read it a couple of times. Well done and makes me want to read the others in the series. I think I will and then give you another review of the overall group. I am new to writing as well. I will also be critical as needed. I found no fault except that a few lines seemed choppy. By that I mean it did not flow smoothly as I read. I like reads to flow like a medium fast river stream and yours had some rapids here and there. I rate this one high because it kept me interested to the end. I had thought it lacked something more to the story until I discovered it was one in a series. The difficulty factor must be high for a writer to write several poems about the same subject. I will find out in the near future and you should hear from me again.
( I am out of town at the moment so it will be next week) Keep writing.
From a non poet (me) you get a good rating on this one. I could envision the freezing cold and the lady in distress as the story unfolded. To me it was incomplete yet I know that writers do this on purpose. Drama in the mix and so much more waiting to be told. Also, it rhymed and I think poems are supposed to do just that. Keep your mighty pen handy - and busy - as I like your work.
Great short story and very informative. I like it very much and we all need more humor in our lives...what?, oh, I thought it was humor...sorry! I really enjoyed the read. I imagine that many consumer products could become scribble artist masterpieces. Makes me want to read more of your dact findings. I rate this high!
Being new I am doing service to myself as well as you by reviews, learning for me and feedback for you. Not being a poet I am one that likes those that rhyme and are happy. Yours is that, relaxing and flowing with goodness of Nature, Life, Youth and the pleasant part of our existence. Easy to read as the words flow smoothly. Maybe a little short, but I write short stories because I don't like to go on and on about the same thing. I like it and that counts for me.
I caught the scent of an abusive past which may be the result of a previous spouse or even a childhood. Of ambitions and failures. Not being a poet I look for the story or inspiration. Well done from my view. It could be expanded some but carries the message as is. Good wording. Not being a poet and just getting into the writing thanks to writing.com I lack experience but overall I like it. I see you have many more in your portfolio so I should get back to you later.
Good morning Angels and thank you. What a way to start off the Merry Month of May. I opened up this morning and what a surprise it was to get such a nice greeting and I certainly hope I will be able to contribute something worthwhile to this group.
Cuzzin Cecil
Being a "newbie" here this gave me many points of consideration when reading and reviewing. I am not a poet nor do I read many poems. However, I made it a point to review one and it really caught my attention. I plan to vary my reviews to cover all different writings so I become familiar with those other forms and styles of which I may find myself picking up tips and styles to use so my own do not become mundane. I also will come back to read guidelines to refresh points I may have let slip. I want to do my reviews the best I can as that is what I expect in return. I would like to include a remark that this website is way beyond anything I was expecting. I am learning something new every time I visit this site.
It is hard to tell a story with 55 words and you did exactly that. Read a lot between the lines and let the imagination fly. It works for me. The unlucky soul somehow fell asleep in the engineer's seat and stole the train for a joy ride! Excellent. I enjoyed this immensely. Difficulty factor very high in this contest. Good luck and keep it up.
Good content. A good story of one losing a love and unable to comprehend and leave it to the past. I like poems that rhyme. It takes a lot to make a story and keep the rhythm and flow. To be critical I think it is unfinished yet I know that could be intentional by the author. Keep writing and maybe that special love will appear and inspire more writings.
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