This is such a good story! You need to keep writing more! The only thing I would change is making the entry longer! Haha. I need to know what happens next! I really want to know about Robin's past more and maybe the reason why the humans and her species were seperated to begin with.
The plot just keeps wanting me to read more and more. I really like the whole idea! I like how you capture everyone personality right away so I can understand them better. I also like the joking relationship between Robin and Phoenix.
Good story so far! I wanted to keep reading more! One thing i would fix is that you first start off in first person and then later change to 3rd person. I didn't know if that was intentional or not, but other than that it is really good! If it was intentional then you might want to add that in. You have a good touch of humor and I like that. It keeps the story flowing well. :)
I found this story really fun! I just loved the sarcastic remarks and thoughts that you put into it. It really gives Theodore more of a personality. I also liked the way you captured all of the elements and thought up the story. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop. I just wanted to see what was going to happen next!
This is pretty good! It caught my attention right away and this makes me want to read even more. You were very descriptive in the beginning and had a nice choice of words.
When I read that part where he was controlling water I understood it, but I think the statement needs to be a little more descriptive such as, maybe how he controlled the water and how he felt. Was he focusing hard or was it an easy trick for him? Was this normal to him or was it completely new? Where had the water come from? Stuff like that.
Other than that I think this was a really good short story. It had a good tone of mystery as well.
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