*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/askeral
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by askeral
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Several typos. The story is very busy. Try toning down descriptions. For instance, in the first paragraph, you only need to say that City of Brekvahnah is the only industrial city.

However, you are working with a good story line that has potential. I'd like to see where the story goes. Keep it up.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/askeral