Please continue this story. It is fascinating. I never realized just how much a Goddess had to go through to become one. The characters are well thought out and well written. The plot flows logically from one point to the next. The plot is also original. Usually when some reads a story about a Goddess it is from a humans point of view not the Goddesses. Please finish this story soon I can't wait to find out what happens.
There needs to be more explaination in this glimpse of Elizabeths life. Which step-mother was executed? Who is Robert? Just a little bit of explaination would improve the story greatly.
This is a good story but I felt there was something missing. I think, first, it needs to be longer so there can be a link between Barbara and the monitor, if theres supposed to be one. If there is not supposed to be a link then that needs to be made clear. Either way an explaination of what is going on with the monitor needs to be included. Also, it would not hurt to see some foreshadowing of the mother's actions. Yes she is tired and fustrated but what new parent isn't? Showing that she is more tired and frustrated would add some dimension to the mother and add some coherance to the piece. As a mother of two children who both suffered with colic as babies it takes a lot of patience to deal with them but you don't just go off the deep end with no prior warning. The dialouge is very well written and overall the story was decent.
This is a good basis for a story but I think you may need to go back and proofread again. For example, in this sentence, “Now for me,” Frank continued, “I just got over there, so wasn't ready to sit on my ass yet.", shouldn't it be "I wasn't ready to sit on my ass yet."
Other wise this is a very engaging story. All it needs is a little careful proofreading.
This is a very well written narrative. It covers all the basic facts in a short amount of space. Many people overlook the significance of the Articles of Confederation in shaping Americas future. They may have not been perfect but the basic ideas were there.
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