Review of Fast Freight by J.R. Jimkins ![](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/costumicons/ps-icon-regular-10.gif)
Initial Impression:
This is a tale that stirs nostalgia for a former age, a time when hobos rode the rails and life was hard but simple. It achieves its object very well, being atmospheric and filled with an understanding of what it means to live on the edge of society. The main character is very well drawn and the reader becomes involved in the tale quite quickly, eager to see Billy achieving some form of good luck at least.
Title:
The title is ideal since it echoes the central theme of the story and has enough untold mystery to draw the reader in.
Content:
It's a sound tale, predictable at times, at others producing unexpected surprises (I fully supposed that Billy would have a heart attack by the end but it never came). That's a good balance to achieve, delivering some of what we expect so that the tone is established, but retaining some twists that keep the reader on his toes.
Wrapped up in the final scene of Billy returning to his old life on the rails, there is a reflection and a question of deeper meaning. Is success and fame something that, on occasion, is not as kind as the life we knew in obscurity? Billy seems to have discovered that there was a freedom in his old life that was lost in his days of popularity. Which challenges our own attitude to what is important in our lives.
Then there's the matter of Hardy Evers. I confess to being seriously tempted to steal the name, change it slightly to Hardly Ever, and use it for a character in one of my own stories. It's a wonderful name and one that deserves the character you draw for it. But who is this mysterious man who knows so much of Billy's life? The obvious answer, given the setting and the usual run of such stories, is that he's the devil. But no, it turns out that he's something else entirely and genuinely interested in Billy's welfare. It's a fine point and one you do well to hold so closely to your chest.
Personally, I'd guess at angel, but that's just me. Others will have different answers, all of which will bind them in tighter to the tale and make it that much more memorable. A clever ploy, to provide just enough info to tantalise the curiosity but allowing the reader to supply any answer and so own a part of the story.
Style:
Your style is simple, straightforward and unconcerned with flowery descriptions that would be out of place in so gritty a story. There are two minor points that I need to make, one a matter of grammar, the other of word repetition.
"...“Fast Freight.” ;a haunting, ominous song" - After "fast freight," you have a period, closing quotes, a space and then a semicolon. It should be comma, close quotes, and space.
"Whether the songs were quiet or rowdy, people loved drinking to them. Pub owners love people drinking to tunes they love, and they love the musicians playing them." - The constant repetition of the word "love" becomes irritating. You may have meant to point at the similarity between the feelings of differently involved characters, but it's not effective in that. I would change some of the instances of the word to a synonym or two, if I were you. The point will still get across.
Flow/Pace:
No problems here - your style has a natural flow and you establish a gentle pace right from the start that is ideal for the subject. It's not fast and exciting but the tale extends over many years. Easy and even-tempered is the right pace in this instance.
Suggestions:
Well, I made the one about repetition - I think that needs attention. And, obviously, the typoed semicolon needs deletion as well. Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing.
Overall Impression:
A most enjoyable tale that entertains but also contains considerable food for thought./size}
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Beholden
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