Just wanted to thank you for starting this contest!
It's an excellent idea, and you have executed it very well, with clear updates and an excellent selection of contests each month. I love the variety of contests your selections include, and have found some new personal favourites through this conduit you have administered.
The variety you've got on offer really helps to get the creative juices flowing, and I'm really grateful you've taken the time to start this contest, and are dedicated enough to unfailingly stick with it month after month since inception. I hope it goes from strength to strength, and that it continues to exhibit a wide variety of contests which trigger creativity in all of our fellow writers.
Thank you very much for starting this contest. It fills a gap for science fiction, and provides needed exposure to fellow writers' excellent work.
You provide clear and regular updates, the prompts are always thought-provoking enough to attract entries that are always a pleasure to read, the judging is fair, your reviews are eloquently honest and the prizes are generous.
Excellent idea for a contest, matched with excellent and dedicated execution.
Heh, cool question. It's the sort of stuff my friends and I talk about to make ourselves laugh.
Stay Puft all the way. The Pillsbury Dough Boy would so easily laugh to death if anyone applied significant pressure to his navel, and you know that Mr Stay Puft is going to exploit that weakness. Plus, he's a sailor - he'd literally tie old Pop N' Fresh up in knots.
Here's hoping for a sequel poll - Mr Stay Puft vs. The Jolly Green Giant.
Excellent story! I loved the black humour and the spots of disturbing imagery - Bruce was an entertaining and compelling anti-hero; you really effectively built the character of this guy who's bitter, conflicted, and who has quite simply had enough.
The juxtaposition of comedy with really quite disturbing events - when he headbutts his daughter for instance - serves, on a literary level, to underscore the conflict: Bruce seems to be undecided on whether he will be happy for leaving the drab, depressing confines of his life, or whether he should be acting upon an intrinsic desire to atone for past sins.
On an entertainment level... it was positively excellent fun to read.
I spotted a few minor errors, that I don't have much time to go into at this very moment, but here are a couple that jumped out at me - I think you typed 'haired' where it should be 'hair', and also the following: 'Bruce wished that he had some gum. Also, he needed a new shirt. His nose was bleeding freely now. This was going to get messy before the end. Instead of kicking the door, this time Bruce just shot off the doorknob.' - you don't say how or when he got the gun, so it could seem to the reader as if it simply materialises in his hand! There may be other minor spelling or grammar errors, but none that significantly detract from the enjoyment, and none which a quick proof-read couldn't fix.
All in all, a great job, and I liked the hint of ambiguity in the ending.
Bilal
p.s. about the similarities to my story 'Spontaneous' - there are a few I suppose, what with a terminally ill man going on a lawless rampage, but in your story you wisely chose to have the character deal with his family, whereas in mine I quite lazily skipped over the whole 'grief' thing. They are similar in tone, but that old phrase comes to mind. You know, 'Great minds think alike'
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bilal_latif
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.25 seconds at 3:20pm on Jun 26, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
