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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/daliawren
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17 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Direct and to the point. I will be honest and categorize my critiques. I will include a detailed list of what I like about the work at the end as well.
I'm good at...
analyzing how information is placed and Grammar rules
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Mythology
Least Favorite Genres
Action hero stuff
Favorite Item Types
Long novels and short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry: Disclaimer mostly because I don't think I can accurately review or critique
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your sentiment and description of emotion was spot on. We lost my aunt to cancer last summer on the 4th of July, so I can definitely relate to the process and terror of finding out if tumors are to be taken seriously or not.

Keep writing. You are very good at it.
2
2
Review of Surprise  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very Hemingway. The dialogue is funny and interesting repartee between bros
3
3
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
This is a hilarious! Very funny and fun to read however there is a lot of inconsistencies in the text that leaves me as a reader with many questions like:
If the squirrels know how to open locks then
1. why did they not immediately escape the cat carriers
2. why in the second theory did they need other beings to escape.

Building off of number 2, why would the second be the more likely theory if we know for a fact they don't need help to escape.

I feel like this could be very good with just a bit of editing
4
4
Review of Double Wide  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This made me laugh becuase I live in the south and there are definitely people roaming Walmart that look exactly like this.
5
5
Review of A Journey Begun  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: E | (4.5)
very ethereal and dreamlike in nature. I love the imagery you've created and the characteristics of you're main character.

The only thing I might add would be a description of at least one of the scenes Lily was shown. Purely an opinion and if you were going for more of a vague and hazy feel that would get more details later, then this is perfect.
6
6
Review of Do What You Love!  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love the phrase "currency interaction"
7
7
Review of A Love Letter  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: E | (5.0)
To a fellow coffee admirer,
You have perfectly captured the lust for coffee that most Americans feel at one time or another, and though you don't mention it by name until the end, I could guess the object of your attentions almost immediately
8
8
Review of Why Vampires Cry  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
beautiful imagery and word choice. You have perfectly crafted the phrases and words that might be used by one so old.
9
9
Review of Paranoia  
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I don't write a lot of poetry, but I read quite a bit of it. The story captures my attention from the get go and doesn't release it until the end. Dark and rich feeling that makes the unsuspecting reader tense up and empathize with the character.
10
10
Review by Dahlia>>
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is an awesome prologue/chapter. I love the way that you put a twist on metaphors and sayings so they paint a pretty clear picture for the reader. Even though the backstory is short, It is extremely effective in hooking the readers attention and drowning us in Cassius's pain.
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