First Impression :
Beautiful! Very Imaginative and creative, a very nice place to visit for a while.
Spelling and Grammar :
Did not detect any.
Flow :
Flows well.
Additional Comments :
Love the intro to your space here. Thank you for adding such informative links. I will also check out your other space also.
My favorite part so far is your into about the Last day of Spring...
~
Keep Writing!
Writing is a personal experience you can make public. It allows you to express yourself through inner thoughts brought to view.
First Impression :
A very good depiction of Marie Laveau. Very well written.
Spelling and Grammar :
"bow and chant and give."
To me it seems that a comma between (bow and chant) bow, chant, and give
Would give it a smoother line here. The and seemed to break the smoothness here.
Flow :
Other than the one spot above it had a very nice cadence and flow.
Additional Comments :
They say she's not in the tomb, you know!
I enjoyed it very much Keep writing.
Good luck on the contest.
~
Keep Writing!
Writing is a personal experience you can make public. It allows you to express yourself through inner thoughts brought to view.
A beautiful out pouring of love and fear and Faith. He will provide a way even when we feel there is none. Keep choosing to look to him. Keep writing!! There are many of us that have some of these same feeling.
God Bless
Dejaa
One little nit pick.. Did you mean.
"healed me hurts." ? my ?
Yes, it is very easy to relate to this poem. It is a good contrast of the forces in one's life. There are several different uses of rhyme types going on here, and several clever near rhyme that keep the flow moving. A couple of places feel like a stop with a ; could be used to break the thoughts. I really like this poem and hope to see more from you.
Your poem is moving and thought provoking! I like the way it roll off the tongue. I'm curious; though, why did you choose surpassed in the first stanza? It seems that the visions of God had passed as in you could no longer see him.
Very Nice Poem. It's uplifing, bouncy and sounds so much like all the hobbies in my life. Your poem was a good way to start off my day today. Thank you. Keep time to rhyme.
Dejaa
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