This is a very great easy going short story. ![Thumbsup *Thumbsup*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/thumbsup.png)
Very beautiful how you describe the characters and their actions, their dialogues.
The reader can really identify with the lead character, and his romantic issues everyone will ever had.
I liked, no loved how you brought the element of music in this story. Being a musician myself and a casual music-theory teacher myself I found the descriptions about the playing familiar, and I don't think this will turn non-musicians off while reading the story.
It's all set in such a nice and warm atmosphere.
The story has a great progress and a nice twist at the end.
I always find it too bad that a short story with this potential isn't turned into something longer, like a novel or novela.
I just want to encourage you to do so Peter, you can let this one roll further, perhaps you will.
To me this is inspirational, I hope I can write down a love/romance story like this one.
Great job.
I took the liberty to take some notes while reading it; some, what I thought, were rough spots.![Down *Down*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/down.png)
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3th part:: A couple of times you wrote: "Lars's". I don't think the second s is neccesary, since it doesn't imply a verb but is short for "Lars his", so I think you may type "Lars'".
3th part 6th block:: "And what if, Lars thought..." It would look nicer if you did something different with his thoughts. Just a suggestion: "And what if?...Lars thought..." ; his thought in italic. Or just leave the "Lars thought" part out all togheter, because you do a great job of making the reader identify himself with the lead character, it's like thinking along with him. But keep the three periods behind the thought (...); that makes it a lingering, dreaming thought. There are other spots in this piece where you can apply this.
Remember: just a suggestion.
4th part 8th block:: "He also know(s) now,..." You forgot the s here.
4th part 10th block:: "Lars didn't hear Catherine calling her." Should be him, right? ![Wink *Wink*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/wink.png)
2 sentences later: a word he exclaims should be between "s; "****!", he said to himself.
5th part somewhere:: "He took care not to drink more than that one bottle." Something doesn't feel right about this sentence. Perhaps you want to look into this again.
5th part next block:: "Lars then noticed that her sister was passing by Jamie’s table to mingle; ..." Should be his sister, right ? You refer to Gladys, Lars his sister.
5th part, some blocks further:: "I have to check on my classmates in the next table." In the table ?? I guess you just overlook this; at the next table. You also do it further on.
A bit further:: "I think Gladys's the one..."
This sounds a bit strange while reading. Just a suggestion: seperate it: "Gladys is".
A bit further:: "I plug them on..." Shouldn't it be "it" ? I assume he refers to his iPod, and that he only has one. You can also change the subject in the dialogue to "earphones". Example: he says: "yeah, I always have my earphones plugged in, I can't live without my iPod." Just a wild suggestion
A bit further:: "They excused themselves from the table that was getting louder and rowdier by the minute and by the bottle." Allright, just wanted to say I really like this phrasing. And peronally, I've been there, done that.
A bit further: "...her leg pressing on his leg." Sounds a bit strange. A suggestion; her leg pressing against his leg.
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Oh, by the way; I think you may want to change the content-rating to 18+ or ASR, because of the usage of a swear-word one or two times, and the drinking and short dialogue of drinking.
I hope you find my comments useful, if I offended your writing skills in some way, let me know.
greetings
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