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110 Public Reviews Given
110 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Remember  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very good piece.

I like the three verses structure, makes the poem more appealing and easy to read.
Through out the poem you made verses very interesting, with interesting rhymes but to me, the conclusion is the best. I may say you end it up with very good impression! Congrats.

"Remember how it used to be
Though now we’re old
And at last we’re We"

Very beautiful and heartmelting imagery and message. With quite light, soft emotions.

Due to the rhyming and the repetion "Remember how...", the poem starts to gain a musicality which can be really hard to do, and yet - you've done it well.

Keep on writing,

Eva.
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Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
You talk about a subject which everyone in their lifes eventually go through.

I sincerely liked the last verse "To remove this love, the love left unsung."

It is amazing the amount of feeling, depth, strength and so much more a simple verse like that has in itself.

Very good piece,

Keep on writing,

Eva.
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Review of Broken English  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
I believe you've constructed some very beautiful and interesting verses, with great figures of speach - such as:

"None of it makes sense
A spur of fire and ice
Flames beneath the sea"

This is a great image to the reader, two very powerful and oposite forces. It provides so much more power and intensity to your piece.

Then again, your conclusion is a jewel:

"Then he would see
That though I don't understand it
His broken english comforts me"

Love the expression "broken english" and I love even more the fact that it "comforts". I think you owned the words and then you flexed them as you wished and you created art. An art with words - which is literature, of course. I truly like to read new combinations of words, something that we don't read, listen or say everyday. New expressions, something fresh that gains a lot more meaning.

I don't give you a perfect 5, although I enjoyed your piece a lot, as you may have noticed by the review, because you fell on some cliches:

"He hears but doesn't listen
He looks but doesn't see"

These are the only verses I don't like. Because they stand out negativitly in your piece. Just because all of your piece is very well constructed and with a very good master sense with words, and then this sounds so vulgar. It just doesn't fit in your piece. You could say the same in a different way. In a way which combines better with the rest of your amazing piece. Maybe you could lean on these two verses and all that you may notice that are ordinary and work a little on them. Talk to words, find new ones and new exprissions for what's commom knowledge will sound so much better and appealing.

You've got a very good piece on your hands, and a greater talent on your heart and mind.

Keep on the great work,

Eva.
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Review of The Lost  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is so beautiful, very touching and you seem to speak out for so many.

This is a different, and many times forgoten, type of loss, love and miss. All kind of feelings, often related to romantic love. This is so much more.

Words very well chosen, verses that sound so good together. I absolutely love your figures of speach, plus, this verses stand out, as so many others:

"Though those locked up knew nothing,
neither hunger, heat nor frost,"

Good originality and very nice way to call out for feelings and awareness.

Keep on writing,

Eva.
5
5
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
"The artist sees
The writer knows
The musician hears
The viewer grows"

I think the all essence of the poem relays in these verses. You have a great point of view on the subject and you translate it very nicely in words.

This is a really nice tribute to the artist, to the artistic life and mostly to arts. Let's all be art, breath art, learn our art.

Liked the piece.

Very nice job, keep on writing,

Eva.
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Review of Lullaby  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed it, it's a nice piece, easy to like and to read too.

It's also very soft and sweet, perfect to read in quite places. I did like the feelings in touch with the piece, you've done a pretty good job on putting the words here. Very nice verses.

Keep on writing,

Eva.
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7
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
It's good, I like the atmosphere you create all around the piece, and also through out the piece.

I like that you end up with the same verses you start with, because also they're pretty nice ones:

"We follow our darkness,
Until none remain"

Very deep. I do love the meaning behind the verses. Also, I enjoy the fact that you mention a "black flame", because flames are supposed to be the symbols of light and brightness and here there's this paradox - the flame is black. You turned a symbol of light into a symbol of darkness. Very interesting.

You've got good rhyming, some verses are very interesting, it sounds more like a premonition. It has very good struture.

Good job,

Keep on writing!


Eva.
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Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
I do like the originality of the piece!

The theme it's so familiar to everyone, and yet, in the form of a poem it's fresh. I believe there's an understanding of cooking on your knowledge and provides a "delicious" sense of humor. Seems something so innocent and then it grows into something a little twisted... always with chips aside!

The first part does seem a bit like a commercial. I don't know if that's your intention. It doesn't fit wrong, though. I love your figures of speech and your crazy metaphors. Where do this all come from?

Very nice work.

Eva.
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Review of Brenton's Jewels  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
The couple final verses are the deepest and the best.
They echo and are very profound.

However, You do have a lot of interesting verses here, but give them more thought, Make them more then they are - make them as deep as the final two. Especially, the first four verses.

Still, I enjoyed your work. It's a pretty nice piece. Very simple and clean. A lot coming from the heart.

Keep on the good job, work on your talent,

Eva.
10
10
Review of Love's Bite  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
It's an interesting point of view - love as a battle field.

I think you could do so much metaphors with that great idea, but I liked the piece. You've got some very nice writing in here, such as the verse:

"A battle for love, I truly wonder if someone is immortal to love's bite"

I really enjoyed the expression - love's BITE. Because we usually relate love to arrows and hammers, but it's the first time I hear this concept, so I find it very atractive and fresh.

Keep on writing,

Eva.
11
11
Review of Money  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
Everyone can agree that this is a very current theme. In my opinion you presented it in a very strong, in your face kind of way.

The figures of speach of course are beautiful, your charisma gets through when you opine - when you make those rhetorical questions, for example.

One little thing I liked is the poem has a very classic look and when you start that verse with "Oh!..." it makes it look also romantic and then the subject it is like the complete oposite - very mundane, very superficial, the ultimatum of awareness. It makes it amusing, like it has some bit of sarcasm.

You said it all. You said what is commom sense for ages; you said what people still ignore; you said it beautifully and you said it like only a great writer could have.

I truly liked the piece, it's very good, very strong and especially very well written.

Eva.
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Review of Writing  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
I absolutely loved this small piece.

You have such a graceful writing, I love how you put things together and make them come alive.

The theme it's a bit rough, I think. Because it's hard to write about writing itself without sounding usual. However, your piece felt fresh and original to me.

Plus, I loved the very last verse. The rhetorical question just sounds exquisite and gives to the piece a classy touch.

I enjoyed it very much,

Keep on writing!

Eva.
13
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Review of Morpheus' Arms  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love the struture - so simple, clean and sober. Works so perfectly, because it's a very nostalgic theme, sleep and dreams are related to numbness.

There's a lot in this piece, but all works so good together - there's fantasy going on, because of dreaming, there's reality because of the part of the character which is awake. The title is a jewel, also. I find it very beautiful and it's full of background knowledge, because of the mythological meaning.

I truly like the very first verse and then, later, the mention of the song. It really stands out and makes everything more flowy.

I believe you have a lot of talent, keep on writing your heart out,

Eva.
14
14
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
You were capable to put strength in a poem wich flowed so naturally.
The piece kept a pretty good rythm and you used words right - the sonority is great. For example, you used a lot of "s". It makes the piece sounds more flowy.

The piece gets through a lot of feeling, maybe a little gray nostalgia.

I think you've done really well, trully loved your writing.

Eva.
15
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Review of Poor Kid  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This has a very deep message, the reader developes a empathy with the piece.

Your writing is really clean and simple, very enjoyable.

I quite liked it!

Very nice job!

Eva.
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Review of Yesterday  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (3.5)
It's a very relaxing view of the rebirthing of the day.
The words you chose are very nice and calm and good rhyming aswell.

Eva.
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Review of I see you  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is a beautiful, lovely love story, which sure makes my heart warmer.

The evolution of the character's mood, the atmosphere itself, the rhymes all along - it's all very well constructed. You've succeded it all side by side with a touching thematic.

Your writing it's very flowy and soft, all very natural.

Very nice job, really nice piece!

Eva.
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18
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very beautiful piece, because it is very sincere and full of feelings. It is truly touching.

You start it really strong and it ends up to be a nice choice to left the last verse alone because it gets the spotlight. Like that, it can have the impact it supposes.

Very nice job,

Eva.
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19
Review of Moon  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am a passioned about the Moon, so this piece stands out for me for obvious reasons.
Number two, it's beautifully written. Very good haiku. I understand it's a very difficult format to pull off.
It's really great you extend your skills to another cultures, exploring the great in them and use them to explore the great in ourselves. I'm sure you achieved a new level of greatness and writing skills when you step up and defyed yourself.

I really enjoyed the piece, your very good.

One of the best haikus I've read here, on writing.

Eva.
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Review of Red Reaper  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
The form you use causes a very positive visual effect. Being small, makes it easier to read and to some readers more appealinf aswell.
I absolutely love the very first verse and every other are very well constructed.

Keep on writing,

Eva.
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Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is really nice.
You do translate a lot of innocence and pure feelings to the reader, the shyness really comes through.
I found the piece endouring and sweet and it does sound like a prayer.

Congrats, you've done a pretty nice job,

Do keep on writing!

Eva.
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Review of Someone Like Her  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
You really got the skill to talk about heartbreaks, how to put words together and how to make them gain sense.
That is something I admire, since It's your third piece I read and over all very coesive and beautiful.
You've got your own way to finding rhyms and give them the musicality that marks your pieces in a very nice way.

Keep on!

Eva.
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Review of War of the Sunset  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Laura,

This is amazing, you should absolutly turn this into a novel.
The story is comepling, mind blowing, with your personal touch marked all over the place.
Where do I start? I feel like I have so much to say that I'll forget most of it! So, I'll try.

The main character: She's so down to earth, so powerful. And because she's so real, she's aprocheble. I can truly believe her character, her personality and I come to admire her. She's no quite a hero, but she's no vilan. She's somewhere in that gray area, and that's what I love about her. She has the most amazing strength and I think the name really fits her. You really done a great job construncting her. She as a lot in her and a lot going on for her.

Jordan: I did not see that coming. I always love a twist like this, even more when I can't predict it. I use to predict it a lot and that really anoys me. I think he is a very complex and interesting character, he can grows empathy on the reader. I actually felt sorry for him. But is a survive or die era, right? His faith was so well written and so cold, you never lost the true atmosphere of the storie. Very hard thing to do.

Storie: It's not fresh; it's the apocalipse. However, your approach IS fresh! And, to me, that is what writing really is about. To renew ideas. Give them a great and new point of view. A great base should not be renewed; the rest should. You know I love your writing style, and "War of the Sunset" is truly the reason why.
The atmosphere you stablish is amazingly dense and your shorter sentences are probably your most powerful ones. They have such energy in them. You say them so simple, so clean, so cold, that sometimes give me the chills and some other times I get a little smile. Kind of darkish.
Your resources to figures of speach, the way you say things, you make everything so much beautiful than it is. You make it more intense, darker, heavier, every feeling gets multiplide. That's one of the true jobs of a writer. You are SO there.
The detailing you use about weaponery and averages and so many more things make this piece so much more real. The begining, the setting, the all introduction of the apocalypse - the surviving theme all along - it's one of my favourite parts because the way you write it it's so primal and raw and yet you never forget you doing literature.

Make this baby grow, if you ever think on going that path!

Eva.
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Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece, though small, has such an amount of feeling.
I found it very touching, very beautiful.
You're writing is very natural and balanced and it seems like it comes so easy for you.
The imagery you put into the piece it only makes it stronger and more intense. It also makes it more delicate, because the main picture are roses. As they are fresh and a natural element, the piece becomes it. It's like their perfume and the colour you mention so well are the signeture of the poem. And your own as a writer!

I quite liked it, very nice job.

Roses are one of the most precious flowers there is!

Eva.
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Review of Heartbroken  
Review by Eva Duarte
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is something really profound, relateble and deep.

A heartbreak is something we have to go trough to say our life is complete and your message really makes it better and calming.

The conclusion is great,

You've done well!

Eva.
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