This is an interesting story. I have done quite a bit of writing of Ghost stories. Go into my portfolio and read The Enchanted Violin. I enjoyed the read. There was one typo in your story, However; Bill’s and I’s bedroom, where I remembered all the nighttime conversations my brothers and I had had. There I said my farewells to Bill--should be Bill's and my bedroom.
fictionwriter1
In your essay, the thoughts were well-ordered and the essay was well-written, easily read. As an editor, as well as, and avid reader, I find that any story or poem flows better when Proper Grammar and his partner, Proper punctuation are incited to the party. Without them, the essay, poem or story is merely words. One must be objective rather than subjective.
If don't want to read a story about dogs, I won't read a story about dogs, because my review or edit might me tainted by my disinterest or dislike of the subject. The same is true of history, horror, mystery or romance, each can stand alone, but without the spice of suspense or romance (forget wonton horror) they are lacking.
While I am not particularly interested in a history book, I do enjoy a good Historical Fiction novel, spiced with mystery and suspense, or romance; perhaps a little of each to really add flavor to the subject. But the novel or story is rendered hopeless, when the context is lacking. If the novel is set in seventeenth England, the writer would do well to remember that slang was not spoken among the noble classes of England. Do we not, rather than don't we, was common language. However, but if you lived among the common people, this form of language was common, because the average everyday person, doesn't speak stilted English.
Good luck in future writing projects.
Don't feel like the Lone Ranger, we all suffer from some form of this malady. However, like a cold, if you refuse to let it take control, it leaves the premises. While you have ordered your thoughts well in this piece, adhering to good grammar and punctuation, making it reader-friendly,Writer's block does not exist. It is the writer's excuse for not being able to write what the mind thinks should be written. So, if this is true. Reread what you have written with critical eye, and do the rewrites and edits warranted. Another solution is to have at least two stories in the in stage of the writing process, and when you are unable to write what you want on one manuscript, go to another manuscript, or just read a book go for a walk and write the book in your mind. I do it, and I don't care whether people think I mad or not. It helps me order my thoughts. Sometimes this provides the impetus to further your process.
Anyone who says writing is not work, has never written more than school lesson or perhaps played a word game. Just because the process is not manual, does not mean it's not work. Mental stimulation is very time-consuming, hard work. Besides the process of ordering your thoughts chronologically, keeps you mind alert.
I would be ashamed. While this is well-written, you have been given a second chance to get it right. Not many people get that, so make the most of it. Don't live in yesterday's reality. How do you think the is makes Ben feel? I've been there and don't that, and I have learned that marrying a substitute, because I can't let go of a fantasy, is like having a marital affair. Why did you marry Ben if you didn't love him.
This is so true. I find that oftimes it how we say what we say that tells the story. Too much narrative is too much not matter how much action one includes. There are, however, some exceptions, most commonly found in Historical Fiction or Fantasy where setting is all important. If the ball is the stage for the action than the ballroom must be described in such a way that the reader feels like an participant in the activities rather than a listener to someone else's story.
Your story was well-written, however, I wondered at some to the short, clipped sentence, I wandered if had been written for a Flash Fiction contest. For this reason, I don't care for this particular genre. I believe that is limits the writer's creativity, forcing them to think in clipped, short sentences with a focus on word count rather than strong story-telling abilities. As I said, I enjoyed the story.
Ex: Rather than: Dad had been gone for years. Mom passed recently. Her father had passed years ago, and her mother more recently, leaving Susan to make the final decision about selling the home. Just an example. Originally, she'd dismissed the message as wrong number, but upon deeper reflection that night, Susan began to wonder. Then next day, she put house on the market.
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