Ever the gifted poet. There's never been a time I've not been impacted soulfully, spiritually on the strength of your words. You simply must go down in the annals of history as one of our most gifted writers.
This poem struck me as chilling. Its quality is raw, unsettling and disturbingly visceral. It's scary because I can relate to this woman all too well; it's as if you were peering into my soul when you wrote it. It's as if I were naked in the freezing cold with no place to go for shelter, warmth or clothing. Vulnerability in the most real sense of the word. In my humble opinion, art is about impacting the way one feels and/or sees the world they live in. Thank you for another opportunity to feel, to be aware, to know that I am truly alive and not just taking up space.
Remarkable work Sunny. The clarity in your words takes me exactly to where you were; and makes me feel sorrow, remember fear and question always our ability to be so inhumane to each other. I'm sorry you had to ever know this experience, and I truly hope writing provides some of the necessary catharsis to get through it.
Oh my! Incredible piece Angel. While I went ahead and rated it a 5, I do have one question. Why such big, brown letters? There is an intimacy about this piece that I'd love to see it done in a much smaller font that's easier on the eyes. Personally, I think it's a distraction from the brilliance of the work. It's almost like you're shouting it to me. The piece is so strong the way you've written it that I don't think it needs anything else. In my humble opinion. Wonderful work!!!!
Of your work I've read thus far Angel, this is absolutely my favorite! Great job. You've captured this sleepless night so well. I could see myself in my minds eye going through these exact same things; I also love your economy of words. You get right to the point and you kept me with you through the end. As a matter of fact, I was sorry it wasn't longer. If I could give you more than a 5, I probably would. That's just how much I enjoyed it. Soon.
Another nice piece of poetry Confused Angel. Great advice, though I'm sure that's not how you meant it. There is truth and simplicity to your work; I don't have to go back and reread to see if I really got it, and to me that's the whole point of communication.
Hello Confused Angel. From the way you write, I don't quite understand the confused part. This poem is to the point, caring, sensitive, cohesive and real. I think you've done a great job portraying who we are as Americans during these troubled times. Kudos. And welcome to Writing.com. I'm glad I found you on the newbie page and I'm now anxious to read more of your work. Happy New Year and best to you and your loved ones.
Hi Dionsyius. What a wonderfully sweet love poem. I actually smiled all the way through it as I read. It's so romantic, fashionable, charming and funny! Welcome to WDC and I wish you all the best.
Hi Axilea. This is a very powerful poem to say the least. I really like the title given the abstractedness of the thought process on one hand but then on the other it feels like a slow motion playback that could never have been in real time. If I had to imagine my life flashing before me and what that would look like, I could accept this premise. I have a huge amount of respect for free verse poets; it's not one of my strong suits unfortunately. But I'm working on it.
Great poem Writeoff! I see you've risen to the responsibility of being an artist. Part of that as I see it is to use our talents to paint images of our world. Images positive and negative are so necessary for growth, for connection between us as people. As poets we're afforded the ability to creatively talk about topics that sometimes go unheard. And if through creative, colorful banter, someone else sees that light go on, then we truly have served our purpose. And no it's not hard to guess which side you stand on with this issue.
Hi Avriel and Welcome to Writing.com This poem is wonderful in my humble estimation. I like the fact that you're speaking totally from the heart and not standing on tradition or convention. I think that takes nerve as a writer. I wish you all the best and hope you'll be writing lots more poetry. Thanks for visiting. All the best to you here at Writing.com.
Congratulations on your Awardicon Maggie.
{color:red}You Rising Star You!!!!!
I love this essay you've written on the importance of weighing issues and making decisions. I appreciate the simplicity and honesty of your writing. It allows me to sit back and enjoy the ride; to allow you to take me wherever you'd like for me to go and they have been most enjoyable journeys thus far. Thank you so much Maggie, and I wish you every reason for happiness and success here at WDC. You certainly have all the necessary components.
Hi Meg from Austrailia. Is that spelled right? Feels wrong. Anyway Hi. I love this little ditty about Writing.com members and the various time zones we all hail from. Job well done. Exceptional actually. Which is why I've rated it a 5. I look forward to reading more of your work soon. All the best to you and I'm so happy you're happy here at WDC. It is truly a wonderful, generous, supportive and loving community of writers.
WOW! This poem gave me goose bumps and I don't say that easily or lightly. I relate to each and every pain driven line. Memories so poignant though, are fortunately a part of the fabric of who we are. They may fade consciously, however subconsciously they are the things that make us cry when we hear a beautiful song that reawakens what we think is gone. I guess that's good news bad news. In any case Ocean, you've written a beautiful poem that I am very proud to rate a 5! And looking forward to going in and reading more. Welcome to Writing.com
All the best.
Furaha.
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Hi Terry. Happy New Year! Time passing has certainly not impacted your ability to write beautiful verse. This poem is beautiful in its simplicity, message and imagery; things I've come to expect from your work. As always, it is a joy reading your poetry. Your work is a reminder that we are touched in some profound way by the presence of art in our lives.
Hi Tana. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you've had to go through and what you're having to get over. My heart goes out to you in prayer that you're able to be reunited with your children. I would expect you to sound very angry. How do you experience something like this at the hands of the system and not feel angry? Especially when you're totally helpless. I wish you all the best under the circumstances and I hope through writing there is some room for catharsis.
This is such a sweet poem about your nephew. A very easy read that allowed me for a few moments into the chambers of your heart. Good luck in the Newbie Challenge. All the best.
Hi Pegasus. Welcome to Writing.com. I like message in this poem of unrequited love. The only thing that bothered me has to do with punctuation or line placement and that was only in one area. Every place else for me worked in this poem.
pick the lock and let me in
you don't know the pain I've been
on the dark side of the moon
This part of your poem felt awkward to me. I felt as if there were a word missing at the end of the second line. All in all I really enjoyed your imagery and the message.
All the best.
Furaha.
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Hi Kenzie. This is great poetry. I certainly understand what you're saying in every single faith driven line. It is through God that I understand my abilities and talent as a writer. There are so many times when I write these beautiful, profound poems with absolutely no effort! It is then that I know the universe is using me as a vessel through which to speak. It is then that I am most clear about my tethered connection to my creator. That is the sense I get as I read The ABC's of the Lord's Math. Thank you for sharing.
Hello Joy. Beautiful poem you've written. Every now and then I read a poem that elicits an audible response upon completion. This is one such poem. And the response is from an uncontrolled visceral place that tells me my soul has been touched. Retreat and dead end were the hooks that made me read this one. Great write. Thank you for sharing your soul.
Hi Showstopper. As an actor, I was drawn to this poem which you have executed exceptionally well. I've been wanting to do a piece on performing and haven't gotten to it yet. But this; this is written so clearly and honestly. The combinations of the good and bad of show business read loud and clear. The only issue of grammar I had is in your third to last line. I was not clear on what you were saying:
But you can’t to used to the silence behind the scenes,
Is it: But you can't get used to the silence behind the scenes?
Anyway, welcome to Writing.com and I wish you all the best.
Hello Braveheart. Welcome to Writing.com This is a very beautiful poem about your Mother. When I saw this, I was expecting something totally different. As I read this poem I was touched by your understanding of the nuances of love you were receiving from your Mother. The ending was an unexpected and very pleasant surprise. Nice work.
Great Job Blue Star! I absolutely LOVE this poem! The sincerity, tenderness, love and care you write about in this poem really tugs at my heart as I read. It's one of those poems that crosses all kinds of confines. The placement of the aside feels almost conversational; and though you've used no punctuation, the words are placed so that it was not necessary. It worked very nicely for me. This is one I have to mark to be able to read it again. Welcome to Writing.com and the best of luck to you.
Hi 13 and Welcome to Writing.com At first glance the title of this poem is deceiving. I was expecting a write about the first Civil War and found that you're talking about another Civil War. Though a frigtening reality we now live in, this poem dares to look honestly at things that we keep sweeping under the proverbial carpet. It is time for us to be more vocal, written about the shape of our world. The only thing I saw that I thought needed attention was inconsistency in case size in your first stanza.
All the best
Furaha.
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