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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gandryll
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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Love Poem  
Review by Aidan S. Hayes
Rated: E | (2.5)
I liked the overall message. It was very nice and uplifting. The comparison of human relationships to the relationship of the ocean and sky was brilliant! Unfortunately, as lovely as the theme was, it didn't feel like a poem. It felt more like lines of prose broken up and separated. I couldn't pick up a rhythm, and that is a necessity for a poem. I might be easier to try out rhyming poems before going to free verse. From my experience, it helps with developing a sense of flow. You definitely have the ideas to make great poems; you just need more practice with the more technical aspects.

Keep writing!
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Review of Novilunar  
Review by Aidan S. Hayes
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I liked how descriptive you were with your words, and I think it had a nice rhythm to it. However, the main thing that I had a problem with is that I don't really understand the poem. For some reason, it feels scattered to me. There's no clear direction from what I can tell; just a mash-up of various sights and sounds with no clear purpose or direction. Maybe it's just me, but I can't sense a meaning or focus in the midst of the nice vocabulary.

Decent job, overall.
Keep writing!
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