I look forward to Chapter 2. You are definitely creative. There are just a few places where the incorrect words were used or where there were typos. To aid you in this I have provided examples. My suggestions are enclosed within brackets.
Paragraph 1
[Her hair was] A feature that was very prominent in her and that she wore with a kind of pride. Keira Siverlight [appears] for all intents and purposes human to most of the civilized world, [When she would be in contact with the outside she appeared to be human, but her presence in this world was rare]
Paragraph 2
“What kind of a dream was that?” she mused to [herself] her self as she was wide awake... 'But was it a nightmare' she thought to herself, trying to keep from waking her parents [who were] in the next room.
Paragraph 11
But you need to be one body and mind if you are to go [through this ceremony].
Paragraph 14
And, the ascension was a key part of the craft that they wield for if you do not [know] your own soul how could you manipulate others[?]
For her four friends, three of them [were the other girls in the Village] and her brother, Zane Siverlight, [who] was [already] married to one of her friends.
She never thought of [herself] as beautiful except for her hair; the hair of her mother a high elf of ashen city exiled for being a warlock centuries ago
When she was off at school or doing chores...would not conflict with the ritual [itself] it self but add more protection...
She then recalled when she had ....her but his was built [without] with out the extra padding on the left arm for he didn’t use a shield.
[Marvelling] at the image before her she looked like a warrior about to go in to a great battle... She however [did not resemble her mother and instead she honoured] [father’s] side of the family.
She continued putting on her leggings and her blue cloak that bore the symbol of the village [which was] a raven birched on a cliff of glass. She then put on the equipment she was given for the ritual and [the] bag that her mother gave her. When she was done she stepped out her door and [went downstairs] to the landing and turned in to the kitchen.
"Don't worry [you’re] going to do fine... chieftain of the village but he [had] declined...
The chieftain continued with the speech for the ceremony of the speech must be recited to [ensure - please note you used insure, which is the incorrect word) that the gods are appeased
As she faced the mouth of the cave she [pondered or thought] to herself, ‘This could be my grave....
Her father seeming [to feel what she was] feeling [and] all this happening within her; walked up behind her and whispered
The cave was protected by [magic spells] that prevented anyone from entering the cave but more importantly it [also kept] anything from exiting the cave.
At least enough to find the lantern in her bag, she wasn’t so vain that she would go [without] light [within] the cave.
She looked up at the light a large torch had lit [itself] at the top of the cave....Of course it’s a magic cave [it’s] going to recognize that I have a..
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