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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Crazy 7  
Review by Don Fern
Rated: E | (1.0)
I am writing this review just to give away gift points. I don't know if this is about a true event. Or if the names used are real names for real people. It's best not to use real names for people on a website where anybody can see them.

If this is a fictional story you need to have descriptions of the characters put into the story here and there.
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2
Review of Happy Birthday  
Review by Don Fern
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Good story
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Review of Final Exam  
Review by Don Fern
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Liked the idea of the girl being switched with the frog. Also liked the way you introduced the curl of hair over the left eye and then came back to it twice. The last time having the curl on the girl who started as the frog. This connected the beginning and end of the story together.

After reading that she was the governors daughtor, I was looking for a reason why this was put in and saw none. So I feel this should have been left out.
In the entire story I felt that there were to many words used to describe items. As one sample "grease-stained pizza box" could have been writen "stained pizza box". Also the word "s***" said by the girl to the girl in the mirror, which was herself, should have been left out. I'm thinking you might think it is OK to have this in because the girl is saying it to herself and it expresses the feeling she has at that time. I believe it should be left out since in might cause a person to stop reading at that point, who ,with it left out, would continue reading and enjoy the story.

At the end I am making the assumption that the girl, now the frog, is to be dissected by the frog , now the girl, for the final exam. I have to assume this. This should be said by the frog, now the girl, to the girl, now the frog.
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