What a longing expressed poignantly in this poem! I can feel the regret and the deep desire to capture back what is no longer there. You've expressed your feelings so sincerely. An honest awareness of what you value will give you the confidence to win it back once it's gone. More power in your writing...
I love the line "We are God's song in the universe." That is so profound. Music brings so much delight in our lives. I agree that oftentimes, we are so busy to listen to music of our souls and we get lost. Lately, I just rediscovered that one beautiful way to rewind is simply to sing my heart out.
I like the positive energy that comes from this piece. I also believe that we can achieve anything and build a great monument of love and peace, brick by brick. Every brick is significant, no matter how little it is. Thank you for sharing. And keep writing and reading...
I love roses, all kinds of roses! Your pen name resonates with me. Thanks for choosing that special name. Do you know the story of Therese of Lisieux? She sends roses from heaven in the most earthly ways. Ask her about anything and she'll answer you by sending you roses. It's my own personal experience, proven and tested in time.
I like the imagery you connected with every season. Perhaps expressing your feelings when each season comes will make it more interesting and add some personal touch. I also like the idea of the cycle of life. Put more life into it. Keep up the good work. Have fun when you write...
I like this poem. The feelings are so transparent. Being scared is one of the natural responses when love strikes because it makes us vulnerable. Honestly, the word "terrify" is perhaps too strong in relation to love. This is just my opinion. I always associate "terrify" with horror. But keep up the good work.
I really like the last two lines, "The Eden that I saw today Would it be there for me tomorrow?" I seldom hear a 14 year old who truly cares about trees, nature and Eden, with a longing of tomorrow full of hope. Yes, there will be a beautiful tomorrow for a few who makes it happen. You're one of those. Keep it up!
This story is deeply touching, a personal experience, so raw I can feel your pain and your joy at the same time. Thank you for sharing this testimony of faith, hope and love. You haven't realized it yet but you are a person of depth and wisdom.
Kindly edit your write-up for some typos. Your piece is heartwarming!
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