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Review of Liquid Sugar  
Review by Maeven
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey there. This was great. I'm new here so I don't have a format or anything (this is my first review actually). I'm just going to give you my gut reaction to the story and the characters. It held my attention the entire way through. It's easy to read and I found the descriptions to be excellent. The dialogue was very believable and genuine.

I did have a little trouble distinguishing between the two brothers, i.e. which was the father, which was the bachelor.

I think, when you have the bachelor peering into the car, you may wish to describe the three children. At first I was confused about that who the third member of the clan was but that may be me.

I like the description of Jaime's need to consume without being consumed in return. Very compelling.

My only other thing is your characterization of the wife. I think the story would actually provide a more convincing contrast if you nixed that part of the wife's character and made her more supportive and tolerant of Jaime's choice of lifestyle - you'd think after how ever long she's been married to Clyde that she used to it by now. Unless, of course, there's some sort of history there. Did Clyde and Jaime go off some weekend and Clyde had some sort of affair or something prompted by Jaime's shenanigans? I suppose I just need a motivation for the wife's dismissive and intolerant attitude if that's how you want to portray her.
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