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781 Public Reviews Given
782 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Never mind weird, this girl sounds downright dangerous. I do hope Tyrus doesn't have a bunny she can boil.

I liked the conversation with Andre. It reminded me of the phone conversations my young lodger has with his mates, real street talk. I would be interested to hear the rest of the conversation.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like Harris - a person after my own heart. You have done a good job of establishing this character. I cannot wait to hear what happens next.

When I started reading I was worried this was going to be a lengthy description of the man's appearance, I am glad I was wrong. I particularly liked his interaction with the crab.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC. You may be new here but you are obviously an experienced writer.

I like the way you have used the lyrics of a song to build a biography of an interesting man. I am a bit unsure who Hardy Evers is - even Billy questions that.

In places it is more 'tell' than 'show', maybe you can work on that. Some internal dialogue would help with that. Just a suggestion, maybe when he sees the hobo fires he can recall the names of his dead comrades waiting there.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have read the first two chapters of your book. You have captured the voice of a fifteen-year-old well.

Hint - If you look at the menu you will find manage book. It explains how to use it to get your chapters in the right order.

I used to be scared of the homeless and avoid them. Then I got to talking to a few. I now have a homeless person staying with me. Not so much a hobo, more a sofa surfer, but still in need of help.

You have captured that youthful optimism, the 'I can do anything' attitude. If only life were that simple.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can relate to this from two sides. I had a friend of diminutive stature who drove a pantechnican (a large removal truck) for her family business. She was once chased by police who thought a child had stolen the vehicle.

On the other side, when I was selling cosmetics door-to-door I rang the doorbell and through the glass I could see what I thought was a child approaching. I said "Is your Mum in?" then when the door was fully opened I saw it was a grown woman I was addressing. Whoops!

I am only five feet two myself and was once asked what I was going to do when I left school. I had a child of school age at the time.

I do not blame Maria for taking advantage of the woman in McDonalds. I am sure she meant well but she ended up paying for her mistake.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is nothing worse than an earworm. It is annoying for the victim and for those around them. I cannot say I know this particular song (if it exists).

The dialogue is realistic and I see no problems with spelling or grammar.

Keep on Writing,

Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It is sad that so many old (and not so old) people suffer from some form of dementia. My own mother suffered in the last few years of her life.

You gradually build a picture of Ralphie's confusion rather than state it. I felt for the narrator, losing the friend of sixty years.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Spooky Mission  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Welcome to WDC. From your writing would I be right in saying that English is not your first language? Although you have a wide vocabulary, how you put those words together seems awkward.

You appear to be changing tense all over the place. Your speech seems more like a play script. With work this could be a good story. What you need is practise. Might I suggest you start by entering Daily Flash Fiction contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Writing a family saga is never easy. You do right by creating a family tree as a starting point. I take it the people in different colours are your main characters with the others only getting a mention.

Your 1876 birth, Timothy Lee, would have died at a miraculous age in 1998 - a typo I think.

The family do indeed seem cursed given the tragedies listed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am in the UK where 'stick', aka a manual gearbox is the norm. I found it hard to drive even with an instructor beside me. I am surprised you made it into town with having an accident.

There is a young man sitting just feet away from me who did something similar. In fact he has made a bit of a career of driving without a license and has paid the penalty.

I hope you grew up and learned your lesson properly.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "The Only Witness" 
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am hooked. This is far more than a piece of flash fiction. 300 words cannot do it justice. I want to know what happens next. So many questions still to be answered. Why did it happen? Was he seen? What would be the consequences for him?

You could take this is so many directions to make a longer piece, a novel even. We already know a lot about Greg. We have yet to discover the secrets of the other characters.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome back. I have read the first two chapters of your novel and I would say you are on a roll. For a fellow Brit I have to say that you have an American voice to your writing. Hopefully you will not have to suffer inane questions about police ranks and procedures.

If you want to write the whole novel on here you will have to consider paid membership as the free one is limited to ten items. I do hope you will think about it because I want to read more.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
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Review of You See Me  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to WDC or should I say Willkommen. This is an experience I can sort of identify with. I have never lived outside of UK but I remember an incident from my first trip to France.

My best friend phoned me to tell me she was expecting her first child. I wanted to get her something. I spotted an Interflora sign in the florist's window. I would send flowers. Now I can speak enough French to order a meal or book a hotel room but ordering flowers!

I got out my dictionary and walked in with some trepidation. "Parlez vous Anglais?" was answered by "Why aye pet." The woman was from Newcastle and was so pleased to be able to speak English for a change.

It's funny how us non-natives stick together.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of T.C.a.G. Ch 1  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You are off to a great start. Your two characters are forming nicely. You write as though you have some experience of rough sleeping.

I am sure Sean is thinking what I am thinking, what does Gregor want in exchange for his kindness? I look forward to finding out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Yours Sincerely  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have a similar tale. When I was in college we did not have translation programmes. One of the students in my study group came from Romania. I, along with the rest of the class, received an email written in Romanian. But I was the clever clogs who found a dictionary and translated it. It was intended not for the class but for his girlfriend back home. I do not know who was the most embarrassed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC. I don't drive so I can only imagine this situation. Nervous Nelly that I am, I think I would be stuck at that stop sign for the rest of my life just in case another vehicle approached.

I see no problems with spelling or grammar. Keep going. Try entering some contests. They are a good way to get to know people around here.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I can see your intention with chapter nine but it is not working as it stands. The first sentence sounds as though she has only woken twice that week. You wrote - Hysteria woke up for the second time this week on the couch, - try this - Hysteria woke up on the couch again, for the second time this week.

Add sounds and smells to your cooking sequence to make it more interesting (and longer). You used the word kitchen twice in a short space - the second mention is redundant - start with the eggs. You could maybe note that you need more eggs or bread and talk about a shopping trip in the near future.

In the third paragraph who is reaching for the water bowl? Did she enjoy her breakfast? Was she thinking about something as she ate? What was the pup doing while she was eating? Was it trying to pinch some? You need details to fill out the story and increase your word count. But make sure that it is clear who is doing what.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
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Review of Calling his bluff  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I get the punchline here but before the reveal of Jack's real mission this could be the start of a much longer story, a novel even. The underdog suddenly thrust into a major role makes for compelling reading. It could fit into many genre. Comedy comes to mind with a Melissa McCarthy film where the office girl has to become a spy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Inheritance  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This would be an excellent defence for any date rapists out there - my ancestor made me do it. This story builds nicely from something relatively innocent to full on horror. I see Dougie, the nerd who never gets the girl. I can understand why he would make such a good subject for any evil manipulator.

I can see this expanding as Rina struggles to get the real Dougie back and to banish Roderick forever.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This did not go over my head. I found it an interesting concept that politics and oratory were around in the days of the cave dwellers. Who are we to know otherwise? I have often wondered how history might have changed had the modern media been around to cover important events of the past.

This is slightly akin to the Emperor's New Clothes, in that it shows how an eloquent turn of phrase can convince even the great and the good. Your characters are well developed. There are no problems with spelling or grammar.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Lannie's Porch  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC. This is a good character portrait. I feel like I know Lannie. We all know someone like this, a bit of a loner, sitting somewhere watching the world go by. In my case it was an old lady who spent her day walking a set route, stopping at the same benches, buying the same food from the bakery and later the chip shop. They put her in a home and she only lasted a few weeks.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
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Review of St Elmo's Fire  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A great tale of daring do that would appeal to twelve year old boys everywhere. One question comes to mind - would a twelve year old boy have the strength to move a boulder big enough to trap the pirates?

I see that you are relatively new to WDC but obviously not new to writing. I'm not sure which contest this was for but I hope you did well.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
An interesting concept, a human's love for a virtual being. It would appear that he needs an actual flesh and blood human for sexual relief but his heart belongs to the cyber woman. In this world that would be considered okay. Amber accepts that she is only a one night stand.

His conversation with the virtual woman gets a bit confusing as to who says what. Not a fan of tags myself I get it but in this case some might be needed. I am not sure what his invention is or why it needs the needle but I am intrigued to find out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fairy Tale  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome Newbie. Is this a work in progress, it feels like it. I am uncertain whether the 'goods' Margo is paying for is the baby or something else.

Abby is a very realistic character. I knew someone just like her. The situation feels familiar sadly. Your writing is very gritty. Keep it up.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Don't Answer Me  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome newbie. At least newbie on WDC but not new to writing that is obvious. As a crime writer my mind went straight to some heinous act about to befall Derek and the others. As an arachnophobe I get it.

These old eyes are grateful that you used a largish font. However, when writing to be read on screen it is a good idea to leave a white space between paragraphs so that you don't get lost.

You build the characters well, especially that of the narrator. It is a pity though that we don't have a name or gender for that suspiciously minded person.

It is good to see new members getting involved in contests from the start. It is a good way to get to know people.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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