Really well written, definitely employing the show don't tell idea, awesome detail, and really interesting and intriguing. Makes me want to know what happened, what's going on, to learn more about the backstory. I hope you continue to write more for this story, I think you could make something really interesting from it, and I'd definitely like to read it!
Read 14 of the chapters so far, really enjoying it to be honest. Big fan of the Warhammer 40k series myself, so I was pretty happy to find a fan-fiction style story.
The content is great, the only thing you could add to it I guess is fleshing it out a bit more perhaps? Each chapter is relatively short, and I'm not saying write 30 pages per chapter or something like that, but just a bit more to the story, it's interesting so I guess give us a bit more to read :P
Other than that really enjoying it and looking forward to seeing where you take the story next!
All the best mate!
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