*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tholdm
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of No Safety  
Review by Matthais
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I like the references that make this sound concrete. It is as if you might be an officer. Are you? The point with that is this: I am not, so I can't correct anything that isn't true. If there is someone with experiance in the field, they are going to be part of the audience that would read this. So even if you are not an officer make sure that these actions are textbook; by asking an academy cadet or a few officers.

You said that you can't see the agressors face, yet in paragraph three you state you can "SEE" and hear the anger in his voice.

The last thing: I have heard conflicting comments on the physical reaction of the body when mortally wounded. A gunshot is almost never instantly fatal unless you get the brain or the heart. They still may shoot if it is a heart hit I believe. I'm just not sure and you may know this more yourself, it is a great way to end for a suspense though and I loved the feeling regardless of my doubts on if it is possible.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tholdm