Drinking Lots Of Milk And Wanting A Mule

A Day In The Life Of Super Mom Drinking Lots Of Milk And Wanting A Mule All In Between Taking My Life Back!!!!.

Gosh it’s been awhile, so sorry but life for this super mom has been more than the average crazy and hectic. My life had been filled with tragedy and that not so good friend heartbreak. Seems in this busy time of my life I have not had much time to sit and write on the subject of super mom and the sometimes-insane chaotic life I live.

So I have settled down here in front of the monitor sorting through old scrap pieces of paper, months old. Trying to figure out what’s needed what’s not, I never like throwing much stuff out, you never know when it may be needed. The dust has become so thick, I don’t need paper to write notes to myself. I am quite sure there is some serious fugitive dust bunnies invading the corners of my once so loved room. I ‘m going to start loving it once again.

I have avoided my office except for occasional times I may use this old puter to get on line. . Some days I did try and sit and write but my mind was so preoccupied with some very overwhelming situations. I normally write upon such things adding any humor I can find. Unfortunately I could find none what so ever. Now, I want my life back. I demand it back and staking claim to what’s rightfully mine. Tears included hey its always okay to cry. Yes a super mom can fall. Like a wounded dove I was with broken wings and all. . I had not flown high for some time even losing my sense of humor. My ability to find wit in situations came to an abrupt end. I know how important it is that we laugh even if at the expense of ourselves. Some things are much too difficult to even find a tiny tad bit of humor. Lets face it life deals a crappy hand every now and then. I just seemed to be losing more and more. Not just on Saturday night poker club or the kid’s night clue game, which by the way clues were all over the place. The professor did it in the closet with a candlestick, oh no that can’t be right. I sure did a time or two want to hide in the closet.

I was on a constant losing streak and wondered if I would ever come back and win at life’s game.  My super moms strengths were steady passing, my will and desire seemed to vanish, gone like the wind. Tragedy hits home and blasted my being with a wicked curse. I lost a granddaughter last year, it’s much the same as losing a daughter. Your heart aches not just the loss of a beloved but the pain and sorrow that befalls your child. Every time they cry so do you. A mother’s love is forever and your hearts share in both grief and love. There is a special bond as well between a grandmother and her grandchild. You look down upon the downy face of new infant brought to you by your own child a gift sent from heaven above. Love over whelms you and your heart instantly melts into soft puddles of flowing worship.


My Savannah was sweet and soft. Her beauty was breath taking, so intense were her bright eyes they lit a room as if heavens angels came down to sing. Vanners as I called her was my light at the end of a dark tunnel, she brought such joy to a weary super mom I gathered so much desire for life from her. She pooped; peed and spit up more than her fair share oh I did not mind she blessed me with her each and every move. As a super mom I think I had a feeling something was not so right. My closeness to this beauty was a tad extreme. Sometimes your heart knows something your mind couldn’t or wouldn’t think. When the time comes and tragedy strikes a small part of you remembers that tug at your hearts violin the one you felt months or weeks before. Why else did I never put that child down, think of nothing else but when I would see her again. This may sound radical yes yet it was for reasons now known to me. Savannah now resides in heaven shining bright with her angel’s a loss and a heartbreak I shall carry forever. I miss her so.


My sweethearts  unlikely passing brought memories of my little grandson who passed eight years ago. My melodious baby boy lives among the stars. He shines bright and I do believe he became a star himself just so he could lead us in the dark on moonlit walks. God bless my little ones Nana lives to see you again. I wonder why much to often, it being so hard to accept that I would have to lose two of my grandchildren. To lose any makes no sense. To have to attend two funerals, look upon tiny little graves and whisper your good byes upon the wind. I have one consoling thought that the spirits of the little ones are flying high in the heavenly clouds above. What a lovely place to be in a world that can sometimes be so harsh and unkind. I think God just couldn’t be away from his angels and so he them called home. I know I will rejoice with them again sometime and then we will dance and laugh and sing in everlasting love and joy. For every life there is a reason. It takes time to look for that reason and understand it. I think I do now.


One thing I know for certain you don’t say a good bye that is much to final for a union will no doubt be in the future. So how do you over come such a sorrow, by not saying a final farewell and those moon lit walks you share with all your other grand babies. Knowing two of those stars are just for you helping to give you light.  Dreams are always welcome, I sometimes sleep with one of their blankets under my pillow. Memories kept alive and talking about it with others that have a true understanding of how you feel.


So I sometimes crawled under a rock and I was emerged head deep but I pushed those rocks off and threw them away. I am sure that more rocks maybe even a boulder will build as time has its way of pushing one down. Yet I will kick those nasty ole rocks out of my path when the time comes and as needed.
. I had became depressed and cried all the time for all sorts of wrong doings in my life. One day I looked at my kids and saw the pain in their eyes and that prompted me to get out of my hellhole and do something. about it. Super mom went to seek help and through a fine doctor I found my courage and strength and moved towards the light. Yes it did require some medications and there is nothing wrong with that it does not have to be forever.


A divorce is in the picture and I am finally okay with that no one wants to be married to a know it all. Life is an ongoing lesson and trust me you never know it all.  You could put years of your life on hold for another and all because of love. Well ladies and gentleman you have to love yourself first. I am not nor will I ever be a selfious person, and in someway that became my downfall. Yet I will not let life and it’s sometimes burdens change me. It’s life and its lessons at best. Each scenario teaches us good or bad. It’s understanding the difference between the two.
I have learned much in my year’s just Gods way of making me a good and honest human. I celebrate the hard events in my effort to succeed. Through the tough times I have blossomed into a fine lady and a super mom as well and no I am far from knowing it all. I don’t want to know it all I like learning as I go.


My kids are growing like desert weeds in the early spring and life has moved on. My youngest no longer throwing fastballs at my head or shooting his be be gun. No he has moved on to bigger and better things. Such as riding his new bike in the empty lot next door, he pretends it’s his motorcycle. He’s got awhile before that Harley, and a run with the hell’s angels, really the name itself has given many a bad rap Him along with the neighborhood wild bunch or so I call them. They  play for endless hours in that empty lot. My ever watchful hawk eyes observing their every move. His fastballs, now thrown while playing baseball proper like. Which by the way he’s gotten quite good at. I think I may have the new little big unit a young Randy Johnson. He rocks! and rolls and even slides into first base I am not sure if it’s first or second just know I have to wash lots of dirty pants. He’s growing up getting the body odor thing going on. Makes him think he’s a man to smell bad. He’s got whole lot of learning to get to become a man.


My little girl not so little any more she’s done me proud I say that in my best of southern accents as I am building my way to freedom and comedy, yep I am starting to dance across the kitchen floor and singing opera at my best. Makes the tiny ones giggle and the older ones go oh my god ma your so embarrassing. Well yeah doing my best to engage in a smile or two. I promise I won’t do it at your school and only in front of certain friends. But I like to scare em keep them on their toes. Back to my little girl who just turned into a teen and knows everything, she is really smart that girl. Honor roll and a drama queen staring in her school plays I think a bit of me rubbed off and I am honored even if she thinks I can be a bit awkward.


I look around me in the midst of all this turmoil, divorce and depression and being broke, along with loss and sadness I do however see a light shimmering in this place I call home. My kids my grandkids and those darn cactus the ones with lots of stickers the only thing I can grow. Along with the pretty little mesquite tree I planted and it grew. I see life and know if I try hard enough I can make it first-rate again. Be real nice if I could get paid for my writing, some day God willing I will. With practice I could pull back on the run on sentences I just look at it as part of my style I want to talk to ya all as if you were sitting right beside me. I want you to envision me doing my Irish jig and laugh with me as I play with the kids. I want to take you on my moon lit walks just as soon as I move to a nicer place. Here in Phoenix on the south side my walks limit me to the front drive way. Kinda scary here and I’m not really a city gal. No I long for the quite roads of a small town and a neighbor who will lend me a cup of sugar. A white picket fence would be nice one where I could gather with the folks next door to talk upon the need for a bigger community center for the kids after school. I must make mention I would love to have a mule and I m not sure why I just like them I suppose. I feel they are sort of left out in the cold. Everyone wants a horse and a donkey is much too stubborn for me to put up with Well here I am and I’m getting my life back and if you want I’ll continue to take you along with me. After all a life in the day of a super mom can be quite fascinating and fun.


Right now I’m Keeping my head above water. You know I always wait till the end to write my title of the current story or events that inspire me. Umm… I rather like overcoming life’s strife’s but I got some serious ulcer action going on here and drinking milk seems to be my only pain prevention yeah super moms drinking lots of milk these days hey I like that I think I’ll use it. Until next time a day in the life of super mom.
Kelly Tagaban.