The Risk

nobody cares, nobody sees,

the pain, the pain, that inside of me

I look very happy, cheerful and about

but what you cant see inside, is what you will find out



I don’t need to worry, they will save me before I die

and when I wake up they will sympathise



I shall take a blade and cut right through

make it look neat but carefully too

I shall wait for them, they will fall asleep

and in my hand the blade I shall keep



its just struck twelve, the time has come

and with my blade, I shall sip a glass of rum

I press the blade against my shin

I silently scream, take a sip of gin



I once watched a movie, that consisted of suicide

but all are the same, they never really die

always saved first, saved in their last breath

there's never really a painful final death



I start to cut, I can see the blood

and my eyes full of fear begin to start a flood

no-one is coming, this is not how it should be

they're supposed to walk in, to scream and see



oh my gosh, what have I done?

I scream and scream, but then…

I drift off to sleep

I can hear footsteps, thank God, here they come



somethings just happened, I can see myself and my family

I'm in a hospital room

they're weak and crying

I'm not waking up

they are all praying for me



oh my God!

I am dying!

they cant save me! 

I can't! I refuse!



this is it, I can see the light

this is not a movie, this is not a story

this is how…

I killed myself!



an innocent risk

that has gone wrong

my life is over

this time… forever!!!



Caitlynn Wilbraham    14  years old    15-09-2008