A Day with the Park Zombies

A Day with the Park Zombies

By

Barefoot Bob


On Sunday afternoons I like to take a nice stroll in the park. I love the majestic trees, glistening with sunshine, the lush green grass, and the variety of people that inhabit the park on any given Sunday afternoon. But one strange Sunday afternoon in the park, I discovered that the fate of the world lie in my hands.

At first I thought they were a church group, their heads bowed in prayer as they silently and slowly turned around in circles. But then I noticed that they all had something clutched in their hands. No. It wasn’t a bible. It was a tiny rectangular device of some kind. I’ve always been a curious person, so I couldn’t resist casually sneaking up behind one to see what kind of device was so fascinating to them all. The device had a tiny screen with the words LOL printed on it. LOL, I thought. What could that possible mean? I snuck up behind another of these people and peered over his shoulder to get a look at his device. TTYL, I read. Hmmm, I thought. LOL?... TTYL?.. What could these letters possible mean? What kind of device was this that seemed to have them all so transfixed? I decided to speak to this one.

“Good afternoon,” I said, smiling.

The man looked up at me, utter confusion on his face, and then returned his gaze to his device. I approached another person and offered the same casual greeting: “Good afternoon,” I said, all smiles and trying to act as friendly as possible, but got the same reaction. She looked up blankly at me for a moment and then back down at her device. Something was terribly wrong. Most people on a Sunday afternoon in the park will at least exchange a casual greeting. These people acted as though they had never heard a human voice before. One of them was so focused on his device he walked right into a tree. I began to wonder about the phenomenon. Maybe they weren’t human. Maybe… just maybe… they were aliens from outer space and had taken on human form! Maybe they were planning on invading our lovely, yet polluted, planet!

They continued to stare at their devices, their thumbs pecking away at letters on them. I discerned that they were probably communicating with a mother ship. I had to decipher the codes I had read. LOL, I thought. Hmmm… LOL? Land on Land? Possibly these letters meant Land on Land. Obviously, their space ships had the capacity to land both on water and land. The other code was more challenging. TTYL… Try the Yellow Landing? No. That didn’t make sense. Try the… Try the Youth Landing?... Where could that possibly be? And then it dawned on me. A rock concert was scheduled for tonight. What clever space aliens. They knew they could land their crafts at a rock concert and no would be suspicious. These young people would think it was all part of the act! The invaders could lower their shiny crafts to the ground and open their doors. Concert goers would merely expect to see energized people with strumming guitars and beating drums appear from its’ doorway. It was to be a surprise attack. The space invaders would emerge from their craft and suck all the gray matter from the brains of these unsuspecting young people! Oh, no! I had to warn others of the attack.

Luckily, I found a police officer patrolling the park and waved him down. Panic gripped my throat and I could barely speak. “Over there!” I mumbled, flailing my arms towards the group of space invaders.

The policeman got out of his car. “What’s over there?” he asked.

“Invaders form outer space!” I shrieked.

“Invaders?” he said, “from outer space?” he asked, incredulously.

“Yes! Yes!” I shrieked. “We’ve got to warn the world!”

“Try to calm down,” he said. “They aren’t space invaders. They are only people.”

“No! No!” I argued. “They only look like people. They’re alien beings who took on the appearance of people. They are communicating with their mother ship with tiny devices. They are arranging an invasion at the rock concert tonight. They are going to suck the gray matter out of our brains!”

The older police officer started to say something when I heard the tinny sound of a march by John Phillip Sousa coming from his pocket.

“Stay right there,” he ordered me. He reached into his pocket. A wave of terror rushed through my body. The policeman had one of those communicating devices himself! He was one of them! I managed to glimpse the screen on the device. It read: Stop and get some bread and milk. How fascinating, thought I. Their species must have a need for the bread and milk from planet Earth.

The policeman gripped my arm. “I’m going to help you", he said, calmly. “I’m going to take you to a place where you’ll be safe from those evil space invaders.” He ushered me into the back seat of his squad car. I was doomed. I thought of my lovely wife and kids. How could they get along with a dad without any gray matter in his brain.

The policeman spoke something in English on the car’s radio. A little bit later I heard the words: “His wife,” on the radio.

“It’s a little out of procedure, but patch her through”, said the policeman. After that, I heard the sound of the march by John Phillip Sousa again.

“Someone wants to talk to you,” he said, handing me the device.

“Talk to me?” I thought. “The invaders wanted to talk to me?”

I nervously placed the device in my palm. It read: Honey, I’ll be there to get you out.

--end--