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Rated: 18+ · Chapter · Comedy · #1639193
Chapter 6: "I Was In Love With A Three - Then I Metaphor"
Sixth prompt.
In this chapter use the words: blanket, sheet, cover.
Remember to highlight the prompt words/phrases in bold, or ALL CAPITALS, or color.
Due on or before 02/12/10 11:59PM WDC time.

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Greg Gumshoe: Private Eye
Chapter 6: "I Was In Love With A Three - Then I Metaphor"

By Indelibleink

Babs volunteered to wait outside of Gumshoe's office for the pizza to arrive, for a number of reasons: First of all, she wanted to check and see if Greg's mom was still out there - which she wasn't - evidently Mom had put Greg's Christmas present to good use. Secondly, if she took the pizza outside of the office, they wouldn't have to endure another episode of the office door "opening ever so slowly," which both Greg and Babs - along with probably most readers - were pretty sick of by now. Lastly, Babs was hoping that - this being Chapter Six and all, and with only one to go - that they might have an adventure outside of Greg's office, for a change!

In short order, (delivery in 20 minutes or it's free) the pizza delivery guy showed up. There was something strange about the delivery guy: Perhaps it was the turban he was wearing. Maybe it was the way he seemed so fixated on Babs, and couldn't seem to stop staring at her. Maybe it was the fact that the pizza box, rather than saying "Papa John's," said "Papa Kabul's." Maybe it was the uzi machine gun slung from the delivery guy's shoulder. Maybe it was the photo of Babs that he held that had the words, "Reward: Dead or Alive - 20 million Afghani."

Or maybe, Babs was just being paranoid. She gave the guy a twenty she hed gotten from Greg and said, "Will this cover it?"

Pizza guy nodded affirmatively, and returned a number of bills to Babs. Glancing alternately between the photo he was holding of Babs and Babs herself, he shook his head and turned and walked away, apparently unable to make the connection.

Babs took the pizza into the office, and put the change on Greg's desk. The instant he saw the change, he knew there was something terribly wrong. He jumped up and ran to his door, and shouted to the delivery guy who was waiting for the elevator, "Ach-med! Dach-med! Pre-med! Spaken zee deutch!?"

The pizza guy became enraged by Gumshoe's words, and answered with, "Infidel Gumshoe! The ladee ees a lousee tipper! Eet ees bull sheet!" He then took the uzi from his shoulder and was about to fire upon Greg, but apparently, today just wasn't his day: Greg had already had his gun aimed at the pizza guy, and fired before pizza guy could.

Greg's aim was just a bit off, but that actually turned out to be a good thing. His bullet struck a light fixture high on the wall, which fell down and hit pizza guy on the head. Pizza guy then fell into the elevator door controls on the wall, hitting the "down" button. The door opened, and pizza guy fell into the open elevator. Greg walked over and took the guy's uzi, then went into his pizza guy's pocket and removed two one-dollar bills. Finally, he stepped out of the elevator and hit the "down" button. The door closed, and off went pizza guy. Hey! It works for Sean Connery!

Babs, who had heard the commotion, had run to the door of the office and had observed the action. "Greg, just what tipped you off that the pizza guy was evil?"

"Well, Babs, the change he gave you was in Afghanis, the currency of Afghanistan. But that's not what sealed the deal."

"Then, what was it, Honey?"

"He stiffed you two dollars in change. That's just inexcusable."

Babs hugged her man. "Greggy-poo, you're just one big 'ole security blanket, aren't you?"

Greg blushed. "Aw, shucks, Babs, it was nuthin'. Let's go eat some pizza."

After completing their meal, Babs walked over to the bookcase and looked up at some of the photos that adorned the shelves. Picking up a photo of a burning zeppelin, she turned to Greg. "Greg, honey, what on earth is this ghastly photograph doing here?"

Greg perused the photo. "It's a photo of the Hindenburg, a blimp that mysteriously caught fire in the mid-1930's. My great-grandfather, Gideon "Bazooka" Gumshoe, was assigned to the case to figure out what happened - what caused the disaster. Of course, Great Gramps was pretty old at that time, and his theory as to what caused the disaster sort of hastened his retirement."

"What was his theory, Greg?"

"Well, Great-Gramps took one look at the photo and said he had solved the mystery. He said that any fool could see that a plane without wings wasn't going to stay airborne very long. The police commissioner partly agreed with him - well, he agreed with the 'fool' part, anyway. Great-Gramps' retirement party was shortly thereafter."

Babs looked at Greg. "Oh, the humanity."

(And no, the chapter title had nothing to do with whatsoever with the story - I've just been dying to use it ever since it occurred to me).
 

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word count: 814      cumulative: 6592
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