What I Dislike About Myself

I don't like the way I look
So I look down
I don't like my smile, wish my teeth were white and perfect
So I don't smile at all
I don't like my body
So I hide it in baggy clothes and avoid the mall at all costs
I don't have any friends
So I just bury my head in books, imagining myself in the character's life
So I just watch tv, play video games, spend hours writing
I always wanted to be accepted
So I pressure myself to be almost perfect
Then cry because it'll never happen
Wish that I found more pleasure in my life
Though others say I have a great job, great man, great writing abilities
I see that and wonder if it'll all disappear...in an instant
I just want to feel completely free
Instead of held down by my dad, who rules with one legal word--guardianship
Took advantage of my weaknesses just to chain me down
Just because I'm the only child left, every one else is gone
I wonder if I'll ever feel special
I wonder how I can get through it all
I wonder if all I can do is wonder, if all I can do is sit alone
I never thought I was the best, just want to be accepted for who I really am