Coming back from vacation

Driving back into the city I was angry. I did not want to be back. It was hot and there was no ocean for miles around. The smell of exhaust and the heat from the cars made my skin crawl and I could feel my grip tighten on the wheel as I tried to keep it cool. Why was I here? I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be driving back to my house in the ghetto. I didn’t want to open the door and smell weed smoke, I never wanted to smoke again. I wanted a new life but here I was going fifty miles an hour straight to the life that I had enjoyed avoiding for the last week and to top it all off I was in love. I had gotten used to seeing her everyday and now everything was back to normal. Normal, it made me sick to my stomach! Ordinary days that creaked by like finger nails against a chalk board, each one more stale then the last. Whenever I left Charlotte I always wanted to stay gone. I wanted to cut all the ties that binded me there and just leave and not come back until the city had changed or until I had changed or something. I wanted to take this girl that I was in love with and leave this planet so that no one could mess with us or distract us from what I was hoping would be true love, finally true love but this was also weighing heavy upon my mind. Was this the love that would save me? Or was it ruin disguised? Don’t break my heart, I pleaded to the wind and play your cards right Justin, I would say to myself. Guard your heart and remember how the heart can change. Happiness is empty but heartbreak is as full as the ocean and weighs a ton and there is never anyone there to take the load off when you need it the most. It belongs to you and only you. This world is heavy but if she was next to me to smile and to say, “I love you Justin,” then I would be ok and I would feel like we had left the planet.