back to life

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty,
I know you have been through enough,
but you were not the only one living this,
you're not the only one who had it rough.

I was ready to have my baby Ray,
this was suppose to be my time.
And yet everytime I tried to relax,
Your life was flashing before my eyes.

Do you have any idea what it was like,
everynight having to turn off my phone?
Because I wouldn't be able to handle the call,
that my brother would never be coming home.

I had to listen to my Mother cry,
I knew my Dad could never sleep,
because as hard as we tried to pull you back,
you were just in too deep.

There were times I was to depressed,
to get out of bed and hit the alarm.
Times I felt that you couldn't even see,
you might as well of stuck that needle in MY arm.

I was scared to come to Dad's alone.
I was so sure that I would find you dead.
And though thank God that didn't happen,
the images are still there in my head.

And I thank God that I didn't give up,
for just when I wanted to throw in the towel,
I called you just one last time,
and you said you were ready for help now.

That whole day I couldn't concentrate,
I finally ignored all of the pain,
there was only one damn thing that mattered,
it was getting you on that plane.

It seems like it was just yesterday,
but it has been over sixty days,
and now when I get my daily call,
it sounds like my brother's here to stay.

Though it was hard I thank you,
I feel someones finally pulled out the knife,
and the best thing that you have ever done for me,
Was choosing to come back to life.