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by MF
Rated: E · Article · Self Help · #2303252
Struggling with bad communication skills and how to solve them.
Matthias Fiore
You're not hard to talk to, whether you struggle with communication. If you think someone is hard to talk to, then try investing into asking more questions to them. Some people may feel unsafe to open up and that may be the reason to their thinking. A person is meant to feel safe to be open. If you are shown the effort that someone really wants to get to know you more deeply, it will help you know that you are easy to talk to.
Someone is easy to talk to when they are empathetic, kind, non-judgemental and present. If another person isn't willing to put the same effort to you or tell you fi you're being wrong, then they are not right for you.
If you feel like your partner is going too fast in the relationship or that you are uncomfortable with something, let them know instantly. You should not talk to everyone else but your partner about the situation, then leaving your partner. It will cause an overwhelming amount of doubts. Talk about what is making you feel uncomfortable and let them talk about it as well. Make them understand, and put effort into it. Be honest, even if it hurts, someone who overthinks may need reassurance or more understanding of their actions, and you can help with that. You should certainly not give up on a person. Master the art of communication.
There are types of people who are really hard to talk to which may include:

The braggart who brags about everything, and how much money they make.
*The rumour artist. This person is the centre of gossip and drama. If they spread other peoples' business around, they'll do the same with you.
*You can engage with them through gossips and it will be super fun. Gossiping is fine, and hilarious because it will make the two of you bond more and also get closer.
However you need to be cautious if they speak constant negativity about people as they may end up doing the same to you.

The one-upper. A person who always thinks that they're better than you will make it hard to speak to.
The hard-hearted. A person who says everything that's on their mind. This may be a harsh individual who just speaks whether it's insulting to you for example, "that dress looks really ugly on you" or "you are looking skinny or chubby".
The brain-picker. A person who takes and never gives back. A person who is unwilling to put as much effort into you as much as you put into them.
The interrupters. People who do interrupt what you're saying and do not give you a chance to speak.

Whether you're feeling constantly alone, you have everyone but no one has you, it is important to talk and open up about it. A partner is meant to be there to talk to and ask questions, with you reciprocating.
Talking to other people about you and your partner's problems may be extremely disrespectful and toxic. Let your partner know clearly about what they're doing and don't just wait for change without you putting the effort to have uncomfortable conversations.
Some techniques to make yourself easy to talk to:
Let the other person talk more, but if they are unwilling to have uncomfortable conversations with you and get to know why you may suffer then they're simply not good for you.
Be positive and encouraging. Take moments to give beautiful compliments, and let them know that they are in a safe environment.
Engage with them about their interests and dislikes. Ask them about various topics which can make them open up, this way you will feel a deeper connection to a person
Empathize with their struggles. It is important to know the struggles a person goes through, but if you're only talking about your struggles and ignoring the other person's struggles then you're making yourself hard to talk to. Listen to your partner, and ask them about their own struggles if they're listening to you.
Be non-judgmental, make them feel heard and understood. Simply, don't tell anyone about the problem, and le them know that you will keep it to yourself and also support them.
Show your sense of humour, make your own jokes at times and make them smile more.
Make good topic switches, this way it will help you get to know a person more.
Avoid pessimism, and put effort to find similarities. Whether you feel a person who you love doesn't share a lot with you. A person should have all the qualities you don't and get to know each other more. You will definitely find common similarities between yourselves and you will make it easier to talk.
Avoid external triggering discussions which will make your partner feel unsafe to open up to you. This can include letting them know that your close people feel unsure about your partner, and that your partner needs to prove themselves to you. Do not tell them that your mother disapproves of them or that you broke their trust, because it will make it harder.

Avoid selfishness, get to know your partner on a deeper level, and show them respect consistently. Give them enough time to speak and do not cut them off or make it hard for them to get their word out.
It is really important that you should make someone feel comfortable with you therefore you will have trouble being honest and open talking to each other. Acknowledge the efforts made and be willing to try.

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