Resemblance

Annabel was already snuggled under the covers when I checked on her, her worn teddy Nigel tucked tightly under her chin.

“Hi mommy,” she whispered, when she realised I was standing there.

I smiled. “Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day?”

“It was okay.” She focused her attention on Nigel, tugging at the thread holding the button of his eye in place.

“Surely you had a good time with daddy?” I pressed. “He took you to the zoo, right? Did you see lots of fun animals? Lions and tigers?”

Annabel remained silent, and I went over to sit beside her on the bed, running a comforting hand over her golden curls. “I know it‘s hard for you now I‘m not with your daddy, but I‘m doing my best honey.”

“I know.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “But daddy doesn’t like when I talk about you anymore.” She looked up at me, teary eyed and sniffling. “He gets so mad. I hate it.”

I reached out as if to brush away the tears, but footsteps in the hall stopped me.

Annabel jerked away from me and swiped at her face. “It’s daddy”, she whispered apprehensively, huddling under the blanket as the door opened. “You shouldn’t be here.”

I felt a thrill of anticipation as Jason entered the room. He blanked me as usual, eyes zeroing in on Annabel.

“I heard voices,” he said, with a dangerous edge to his voice. “Tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing, Annabel.”

“I was talking to mommy!” Annabel almost shouted, clutching at her unicorn blanket, her hands making little fists. At her father‘s expression, her defiance ebbed away as quickly as it arrived. She picked Nigel back up and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

“I’m sorry daddy,” she said, edging further away from where I still perched beside her. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t.”

He strode across the room. “Goddamn it, Annabel we’ve been over this so many times.”

Jason knelt at the other side of the bed in the pool of light spilling in from the corridor. He was close enough to reach out and touch me, but he was still intent on steadfastly ignoring my existence. Instead, he gripped Annabel’s wrist, jerking it in frustration when she refused to look up from Nigel’s fur. “Annabel, look at me.”

She finally raised her eyes to his, and said in a small, wretched voice. “I like to see mommy. I missed her when she wasn’t here.”

Jason’s eyes cut to me but darted away almost immediately. He exhaled shakily. “You know that’s not your mommy, Annabel.”

I sat there smiling, but he didn’t look at me again. He didn’t dare.

“Whatever it is, it’s never been mommy.” He was whispering now, as though I somehow might not hear.

Annabel starting sobbing and he pulled her closer. “You just keep making it stronger, sweetie. You have to stop. You have to stop.”

I felt my smile stretch even further, amusement splitting my face. It was too late for that.