My Junk's Big

My Junk's Big

Our story begins out Texas way
where everything's big or so they say
a dream was born from rust and steel
achieving dimensions all but unreal
The first seeds fell in 74'
with a trashed Mercedes with the gull wing doors
an old bug van some hippies couldn't start
then a thousand pounds of shopping carts

Sikorsky's, Cessna's and Piper Cubs
cast iron claw foot bathing tubs
all went into that pillar of awe
'til you could see the damn thing from Arkansas!
By 85' it was a full mile high,
folks complained that it hid the sky
I said 'you like it now baby wait 'til I'm done
Someday my junk will block the sun!'

My junks big.
My junks big.
My junks B-B-B--I-I-I-I-I-G-G-G-G-G!

Roller coaster, trolleys and railroad tracks
Greyhound buses and Cadillac's
mailboxes, street lamps and army jeeps
all built up that mighty heap
Bridges, fridges and submarines,
barges, cranes and washing machines
It reached 8 miles by 2003
And a glacier formed on it's lofty peak

When a van full of church ladies rolled on by
the eldest barked out 'girls, cover your eyes!'
She held a cross of gold to that massive tower
and said 'save us Lord from it's enormous power.'

My Junk's big
My junk's big
My Junk's B-B-I-I-I-I-I-I-G-G-G-G-G!

One day the mass became too great,
and the ground gave in beneath the weight
Came a thunderous rumble and a mighty wind
and a horrible sight where my junk had been
When the monster finally stopped slidin' down
just one inch of junk poked out of the ground
I cried to the heavens and I fell to my knees
Help me God! This just can't be!

My junk's Big
My junk's big
My Junk's B-B-B-I-I-I-I-G-G-G-G-G-G!


Well, the law stepped in and said I was through
I couldn't rebuild whatever I do
The lady cop smirked seeing how it had shrunk
chirped 'have a good time with your inch of junk.'
But the scientists say it'll rise again
as earthly pressure builds up within
and it'll shoot like a rocket way up in the sky
Maybe a full thousand miles high

And shine over London and Tokyo
Lima, Lagos and Monaco
in fact the whole wide world will see
the biggest damn junk that was EVER TO BE....

My junks big,
my junks big.
My Junks B-B-B-B-I-I-I-I-G-G-G-G!

The End