Summer Anticipation and Anxieties

As the summer nears
I feel both panic and anticipation.
At present, I waver
Wanting to look forward to all
That has potential
But fearing the end of supply work
And steadier income.
I can dream...
Enjoying a virtual blogging trip
That traipses around the world
But the reality is...
I have to care for my aging mother
Who has lost her driver's license
by being classed as 'mildly cognitively confused'.
Losing this, has dented her independence
And I find her getting smaller
before my eyes.
I feel the need to find ways to prop her up
And maintain my sanity
As she often turns to drinking
To mask her pain and embarrassment.
If I go anywhere, I feel like I am abandoning her,
But if stay, I'll feel like I've wasted my summer
By waiting on her hand and foot.
Or feeling guilty if I don't indulge her.

Memories swirl over the writing retreat I attended last fall --
My worry about her overwhelmed me
And I almost dreaded the trip
But I prepared the way -
Planned outings and visits for her, like play dates
But she turned them all down.
When I returned I was guilted with
"I have such cabin fever!"
All my plans for her were in vain.
She hadn't wanted to go because
She was embarrassed not to be able to keep up.

I'd been glad that I'd gone
Because I had a marvelous time.
Coming home reminded me
I may not have so many more of those trips
In the future...

So now I sit on the crest of summer and wonder -
Just what can I do
So that we both enjoy ourselves.

Lines = 45
Words = 277.


Notes ▼

Written for "DWG: Poet, Know it, Show it! Contest" 
PROMPT/SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS

JUNE: Suggested questions to answer.
WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? USE WORDS TO SHOW EMOTIONS AND ACTIONS.bold the words in your story-poem
Poetry form: STORY POEM - MINIMUM OF 16 LINES MAX LINES 64.

ENTER in item format "Invalid Item" replacing the X's with the item numbers.

Does this mean we bold all the words or only words that show emotions and actions? Got no answer to this question.

Other part of forum just has this: The prompt is Spring/summer/June.