Fred

This is not an original story by me, it's one of those short internet stories i read many years ago but can't seem to find anymore, luckily i found a copy just recently in some old files of mine, i'm sharing it on here cause it's a good funny story i think should be shared with the world, Enjoy.





FRED


Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Fred.’

Fred was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’

St. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’

Fred was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’

‘Not bad,’ replied Fred the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’

‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?’

‘Never,’ said Fred.

‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal.’

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, when suddenly he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard…..

“Fred, wake up! You shit the bed!”

Getting OLD just ain’t what they said it would be!

The End.