the pledge

         I've always had this tendency of craving for more. More of everything. Don't leave a bowl of peanuts on the table, I'll eat the whole thing. Don't leave hummus lying around either. I'll eat it, no bread needed. And if there's a baguette somewhere, I'll eat it too. Dip or no dip. But I don't have an eating disorder (thank God), I'm just an overanxious guy who constantly needs to find something to do with his hands.
         I'll let you guess what my relationship with alcohol was like... Now it's non-existent. I've been sober for 8 years and every time I think about what that really means, I feel a surge of emotion, something resembling gratefulness and pride. But I'll talk more about alcohol in another article.
         Today's article is regarding another addiction of mine that I'd like to quit. To say it bluntly, it's about porn. Not masturbating. I don't have issues with masturbating, I really don't. But I wish I didn't have to rely on porn when I get horny. I wish my imagination would suffice. And it works... for a while. But I always surrender in the end. And I hate myself for it.
         Why does it affect me like this? The thing is, I feel dirty after watching porn. I feel like my mind has been defiled. I don't know if this will make sense to other people. But I'm sure I'm not alone. That's why I'm writing and posting today. This is a pledge. I'm making it official. Today is what I call day zero. It's the day preceding the commencement.