What If.

Every so often,

I sit awake at night.

Not from a nightmare,

not from a shudder;

voluntary.

I sit awake,

wanting to picture alternate realities.

Wanting to picture;

what would happen,

if I simply vanished?

What would happen,

if I wasn't me?

What would happen,

if I lived another life?

What would happen,

if I were a monarch?

What would happen,

if my tale was told happier?

What if it wasn't?

What if my tale,

never` existed.

It's not a nightmare,

or a shudder.

What if.

What if and me,

have a rocky relationship.

I want to tell,

I want to visualize.

But how can I?

When those what if's,

aren't always my happy ending?

What if

my friends don't have a happy ending?

As of now,

we are all (not so happily) living our school life.

' Prime time, '

they say.

What if it doesn't end that way?

If my friends were to be murdered,

to commit suicide,

to push themselves over.

Or to have a happier ending;

to graduate with honours,

to move away,

to leave me with my thoughts,

my` 'what if's.'

So what if my ending isn't happy?

What what if it is?

What if I'm in a coma, and this is all a dream?

What if

we stopped questioning,

and what if

we live in the present?

Or what if I go to bed,

and I wake up

good as new tomorrow?

And with my last what if,

I must wish a good night to you.

What if we stopped questioning, and what if we live in the present?

What if, we say goodnight.