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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/1024634
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#1024634 added January 14, 2022 at 12:01am
Restrictions: None
Plus Ça Change...
From "JAFBGOpen in new Window. [XGC]:

Imagine the pandemic never happened. How do you think your life would be different now, if at all?


What pandemic?

...okay, look, I'd like to say that the only thing that would be different is that I wouldn't have canceled my gym membership. But let's be real: I still would have canceled my gym membership. Eventually. Because I'm lazy.

Before the pandemic, I was going out only rarely, ordering delivery groceries, and buying most of my shit from Amazon. Now, I go out only rarely, order delivery groceries, and buy most of my shit from Amazon.

I guess the biggest difference is now I wear a mask when I go out? And I gotta tell you, I like it a lot better. The mask I usually wear isn't the one in my Notebook picture, but rather has on it a photo of a cat's nose and mouth, so it looks like my lower facial features are replaced by a feline's.

I will continue to wear this mask in public, regardless of what diseases may or may not be circulating. This is because, every time I wear it, I get compliments on it. I have never, not once, ever gotten a compliment on my actual face. This is called positive reinforcement, and it works.

As a bonus, I hope this causes any facial recognition software in my vicinity to spark, smoke, and explode.

I probably would have traveled more, but even that would have led to me being, right now, sitting here at home wishing winter would end already because fuck, I've had it with winter. Yes, I know I still have the rest of January and all of February to go through. Thanks for reminding me. I hate February. Except for the year I spent February on Maui. That was a good February.

Hm. One thing that might be different. I might not be so completely, utterly done with approximately half of the population of the US. I might still have some tiny thread of hope for the future.

But probably not.

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