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 |    Not for the faint of art. |
| What the hell is hard work, anyway? The law of reversed effort: The harder you try, the harder you fall  There are many things in life that cannot be improved with greater effort. Sometimes, life requires that you step back. Is it meant to mean great physical exertion, as in the hard work of keeping a farm going? Or something mentally difficult, like proving something in mathematics? Neither is any guarantee of success. You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to cars go by. You have no idea how long you have been like this, but it must be a few hours, at least. Go to sleep, you tell yourself. Just close your eyes and: Go. To. Sleep. You shut your eyes tight, force your body to relax, and wait for the blissful slumber to come. But, nothing happens. More minutes pass and… nothing happens. It’s 3 a.m., and you’re still staring at the ceiling. I learned how to deal with that years ago. No, drinking isn't involved. We have all been in this situation. Try as we might, it is nearly impossible to consciously will yourself to sleep. Sleep comes to those who let their mind wander and focus on anything other than sleep itself. Count sheep, control your breathing, listen to an audiobook, or whatever — so long as it turns your mind from wanting to sleep. Or I'd get up and do something else, which would make me tired, so I'd go back to bed, which would keep me awake, so I'd get up and do something, which would make me tired, etc. Then I'd fall asleep at my desk all day. That's my body telling me I'm a night owl. This is a common and familiar example of the “law of reversed effort.” Yet, whenever I make an effort, I get tired. The Law of Reversed Effort was first coined by the author Aldous Huxley, who wrote: “The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. “Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent unknown quantity may take hold.” I guess it worked for him. He sold a few books, as I recall. But, there’s a spiritual or holistic way of viewing the “law of reversed effort” as well. It’s something that has a much longer history than Aldous Huxley — it’s the Daoist idea of “Wu Wei.” I was going to say that makes sense and I understand it, but it doesn't and I don't. I'm pretty sure that's what Taoism is all about though, so I guess I'm doing it right. Which means I'm not. To surrender to a greater power — or a nobler, righteous one — is not an act of cowardice. It is an act of profound wisdom. There is nothing praiseworthy about swimming in a storm or punching a bear in the face. There is wisdom in knowing our limits, in embracing humility, and even in being pushed around. This is the meaning of Wu Wei. It is not some lazy torpor, or an excuse for a duvet day and Netflix binge. Sure it is. That’s nice, you might think, but how does that actually translate to real life? The problem with a lot of philosophy of this kind is that it rather leaves us no better off than before. And usually worse off. Anyway, here's why I decided to share this: Writing: For an author, there is nothing so terrifying as the blank page. If you have been told you have to write something, especially on a deadline, the mind often can go into meltdown grasping for something — anything — to write. It’s much better to let ideas come and write them in a notebook so they don’t get lost. I'm sure that works for some people. Me, I do freewrites. And since I started doing these entries on a daily basis, I think maybe one in 400 entries gave me writer's block. It's even more trite than Tao, but sometimes you "just do it." Stress and anxiety: We all get stressed about things. All jobs involve bottlenecks and crunch points. Life has good days and bad days. But when we obsessively run things over in our heads, we actually make anxiety worse. There is a reason why “mindfulness” is such a breakaway phenomenon, and why Headspace is a $250-million business. Yeah. That reason is marketing. Conversations: When it comes to how we talk to people, less really is more. A bad conversation involves you talking too much and your “listening” consisting of simply waiting to talk again. Yet research shows that active listening gives more “conversational satisfaction” and leaves the partner feeling more understood. Oh, sorry, were you saying something? Perhaps it is time to step away from what you are doing and enjoy Wu Wei or inaction. After all, if I tell you not to think of pink elephants, there’s only one way to do it. Drink until they go away. |
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