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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/1053326
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Rated: 13+ · Book · Biographical · #2296648
Left-overs piled on hot rice and mixed.
#1053326 added July 30, 2023 at 2:53am
Restrictions: None
Fanged in the Summer Heat
I should never rewrite someone's poetry but to my credit, I don't care what they do with my suggestion. It's their writing, not mine. I prefer a more economic style and want to cut out words that disturb the flow or add nothing (like 'the' or 'is'). One could say... I prefer terse verse.

To Vanishing Vapor re "Salvaged?Open in new Window. "Thus" and "only to" seem heavy, maybe 'let' as well. Too prosaic. Possibly like this:

the less I say,
the less I chance,
appearing weak —

predators investigate,
reveal themselves,
learn of my strength —

the hard way

Just a thought. I've been thought of as 'weak'. They forgot about my fangs.


35 years later a different friend told me that I may have gotten lucky if I would've been more aggressive!

To bob county "Super Porn Store!Open in new Window. I was 22 and frustrated in Peru. Met a Canadian 20 years older than me. She understood my dilemma but said she was too old to help. I really wanted someone else... but I never told him.

We all have "moments". My chromebook is annoying me. I want to scream but that's not allowed in Thailand. Imposter syndrome? Very common. Shocked because we like music when we don't care as much for the genre or singer? Happens all the time.

To Mighty (Mighty) "cruel summerOpen in new Window. "You are very competent, just not over confident at the moment. Believe in yourself. T-Swift obviously does... or should. Even wealthy, successful people can feel like an imposter.

In other words you're being too hard on yourself. Have a moment to meditate or mourn; but, by Monday morning you'll make your move and get over it. (I love alliteration...)

Seriously, rehydrate, sit in the shade, sip water or whatever, sultry summer won't snuff you out nor stifle you.

You've got this!


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