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A collection of stories about my family's trip to the movies going sour quite fast! |
| It was Monday, September 9th, 2024, and you have just gotten out of jail! You are also quite sad because your aunt has passed away last weekend while that bastard Ross was out having a grand ol' time at the International Movie Theater. You would let out another huge sigh as you start to get ready for your aunt's funeral on Wednesday... On Wednesday, September 11th, 2024, it would be a big and painful day, as it would be the day of your Aunt's funeral. You would put on your best looking black t-shirt, your cleanest looking blue jeans, your filthiest looking Nike shoes, and your most torn up baseball cap before heading to the church for the funeral. While at the funeral, your family would take pictures outside of the church.  You would then proceed to take some videos while at the funeral service. Throughout the funeral service, your blood would start to boil again. You just wanted to pay that bastard Ross a visit and just beat the ever living shit out of him for all of this! Your aunt, who was so full of life last year, has been reduced to a human vegetable over night, all thanks to Covid and that fucking bastard! Speaking of which, you haven't seen the turd anywhere! You decided to slip out of the church for a bit to check in on him and what you discovered made you so mad, you wished you had a gun to shoot the fucker with! Apparently, out of fear of a tropical storm, Ross went somewhere for "shelter" and was having a Hell of a feast!  Are you mother fucking kidding?!? ARE YOU MOTHER FUCKING KIDDING HERE?!? YOU ALL ARE MOURNING FOR THE LOST OF YOUR AUNT, AND THIS FUCKING BASTARD IS SHACKING UP IN SOME FANCY ASS HOTEL, DINING ON A MEAL FIT FOR A KING, WHILE THE REST OF YOU ARE CRYING YOUR EYEBALLS OUT IN A CHURCH!!! You would quickly storm into a bathroom and call up the bastard, quickly yelling and cussing him out over this shit! He would tell you that he needed shelter from a tropical storm, but you keep calling him out on his bullshit! After the funeral, you would meet up with your sister and had an emotional conversation with her... "Hey brother, listen, I'm just going to be real with you...I don't think I can have faith in our Lord for very much longer and..." "Now why would you say that sister? You realize that if our father was still alive and he heard you say that, he would get so mad and would slap you so hard, your head would spin and..." "I know brother, but I have prayed to God every night for a miracle to happen and to help heal our family, but nothing is working! I have prayed to God every night that Ross would stop flirting with those Indian chicks! I have prayed to God to find a way to stop Ross from going back to the International Movie Theater for good! I have prayed to God that my boys would straighten out and stay out of jail and go to college and get degrees! I have prayed to God that I get my job back! But nothing has fucking worked and I don't think I can go on much longer and..." "Sister, please, have faith! Our father wouldn't allow such sorrow like this! We just have to keep praying and..." "I'm sorry brother, but I think that I will take a bit of a break from our church..." You would then try to reason with your sister, but she would just storm off with her sons while tearing up again... On Friday the 13th, 2024, you would find out that, even though your family has just went to a funeral for your aunt, Ross is still planning to see another horror movie! Are you mother fucking kidding here? YOUR FAMILY HAS JUST SUFFERED A HORRIBLE TRAGEDY, AND THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS SEEING ANOTHER HORROR MOVIE?!? Oh, when you confront him again at the movie theater, you were going to beat his ass for both, not attending the funeral, and for this fucking bullshit! However, on the morning of Saturday, September 14th, 2024, you would get some horrible news! While your sister was out doing some grocery shopping, she would start some beef with grocery store employees, which would result in her getting arrested! What the fuck is that cop's problem? She was hanging up the phone and leaving like the officer requested, but should've guessed that she wasn't leaving fast enough for the cop's liking. Inpatient fucking pig! Not only that, but later that evening, your wife would end up in jail as well, just for taking a nap outside of a store! Are you fucking kidding? YOUR WIFE WAS JUST TAKING A GODDAMN NAP! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PIGS?!? Furious with this, you would down a few cans of "White Claw" beer before you would start to drive over to the town where Ross is in to watch that movie! However, before you could get far in the next town, a cop would pull you over for your driving! As you get hauled off to jail, Ross's roommate would post the following video to your latest Facebook post: |
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