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A version of me has been here before. Not this version. |
"The Soundtrack of Your Life"  For a few years, I cleaned businesses at night with my best friend. I phrase it like that but really it was just an excuse for us to be out together, smoking weed and making money. One of the hottest men I have ever seen in real life occupied one of the offices we did weekly. The office as well as his kick-ass apartment, which we also cleaned for him since we’d have done anything for him, were right up in the heart of downtown. He had lots of money and he spent a lot of it on boogie weed items that he just left lying everywhere. His building was broken into one night and he changed his world all up. It became very surveillance-heavy. But that was his home goddamnit. I have this song that does not at all fit the genre I am about to assign it. But sometimes you can’t help what things are. I discovered a song that my kids and I lovingly call my stripper song. Since I have no rhythm, it isn’t that it makes me break out into pole routines, but it makes me want to. It makes me wish I did. It even sometimes makes me feel like I could. Once discovered….. It was cemented in my little stripper heart. One night while we were cleaning the office I had my headphones and was vacuuming. My stripper song came on and because it was a split building occupied by the same company my friend was on the other side, meaning I was alone and was overtaken by a spirit named Candy or Sparkle while vacuuming. Go about my business finishing everything up and go over to the other side of the building to help my slow-ass friend do something normal people would have completed three times already only to have her excitedly waiting. Standing there giggling, waiting to tell me that the guy had called to tell her he was watching me and I was loving whatever I was listening to. Cuz I had of course set off his little motion sensor and he had pulled the camera up on his phone and watched me pseudo-strip around his office. Can you stuff weed in a g-string? Also - how fucking amazing is Missio?! It won’t be the last song on this list because they made last year's playlist summary more times than I would have guessed. |
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