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Rated: 18+ · Book · Activity · #2313407
Book for recurring activity entries
#1084392 added March 2, 2025 at 9:59pm
Restrictions: None
Damn Yer Paws, Fur And Whiskers!
Prompt ▼

Across the new-mown fields he raced,
a veritable rocket.
I swear he had a bloody watch!
(Or was it just a locket?)

It hardly mattered either way,
for that was just for starters.
He wore a suit, a hat, white gloves
and socks held up with garters.

And as the little bugger passed
He talked of fur and whiskers
and being late, while all the time
his pace got ever brisker.

The wind got up and caught his gamp1
and off the ground he lifted,
while faintly crying "Oh, my paws!"
as down the street he drifted.

I swear to God when I see Bill
I'll knee him in the goolies2,
for bringing dodgy3 home-made hooch
to last night's Friday Hooley.4.

The pounding headache's quite enough
for drinking men of habit.
But lines are crossed when I can see
a bloody talking rabbit.

Pink elephants and leprechauns
might generate some chatter,
but bunnies dressed like Mr Toad
are quite another matter.

Form: Ballad
Lines: 28

Notes ▼

Footnotes
1  Gamp: British term for a large umbrella.
2  Goolies: British slang for...um...a part of the male anatomy that can well do without being kneed, kicked, punched or otherwise subjected to high velocity impacts.
3  Dodgy: British slang for something suspect.
4  Hooley: Irish slang for a drunken debauch boisterous party.
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